When an adult child is stealing money from parents, the first priority is not the police report or the lawyer — it is cutting off their access to the accounts today, before another dollar moves. Once the bleeding stops, you have real options: a criminal complaint, a civil lawsuit for recovery, a small claims filing, and, if the parent is 60 or older, a separate elder financial abuse track with its own investigators and penalties. What you do in the first few days shapes every one of them.
Cut Off Access Today
Call your bank, walk into a branch, or log in online and freeze or restrict any account your child can touch. If they are listed as an authorized user or signer, have them removed. Change every password, PIN, and security question on every financial account. Do this before you have the difficult conversation, not after.
If you gave your child a power of attorney, revoke it in writing, get the revocation notarized, and deliver a copy to every bank, brokerage, and institution that ever received the original. Until they have written notice, those institutions may keep honoring the old document. If the POA covered real estate, file the revocation with the county recorder as well.
If your child is the representative payee for a parent’s Social Security benefits, call the Social Security Administration at 1-800-772-1213 to report the misuse and request a new payee.
Where to Report the Theft
The Police Report
Go to your local police department or sheriff’s office with everything you have: bank statements showing the unauthorized withdrawals, screenshots of transfers, forged checks, and any texts or emails where your child discussed the money. The intake officer will take the details and give you a report number, which you will need for bank disputes, insurance claims, and any later legal action. Be specific about dates and dollar amounts. “She took about $15,000 over six months” gives investigators something to work with; “she’s been stealing from me” does not.
A detective may be assigned, though financial crimes often move slowly, particularly when the amounts are smaller or the evidence sits behind bank subpoenas. The criminal track exists to prosecute and punish. It can produce a restitution order, but recovering your money is not the primary goal of a criminal case.
Adult Protective Services When the Parent Is 60 or Older
If the parent who was stolen from is 60 or older, report the theft to your state’s Adult Protective Services agency. APS investigates financial exploitation of older adults and can connect victims with emergency services and legal help. When you file, include dates, amounts, the child’s name, any health or cognitive conditions the parent has, and whether the risk is ongoing. The Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 will route you to the right APS office if you don’t know where to call.1Administration for Community Living. Eldercare Locator
The U.S. Department of Justice also runs the National Elder Fraud Hotline at 833-372-8311, Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Eastern. A case manager will walk you through reporting at the federal, state, and local levels.2Office for Victims of Crime. National Elder Fraud Hotline
How the Law Treats Theft by an Adult Child
The family relationship is not a legal shield. Stealing from a parent carries the same criminal classifications as stealing from a stranger, and when the parent is older, the penalties can be worse.
Ordinary theft covers any situation where someone takes another person’s money or property without permission and intends to keep it. Withdrawing cash from your account, using your credit card, or selling your belongings and pocketing the proceeds all qualify. Fraud is the deception version: your child lied to get you to hand money over voluntarily. “I need $5,000 for rent” when the money goes to gambling is fraud. In most states, the charge scales with the dollar amount, from misdemeanor at the low end to felony with potential prison time higher up.
When the parent is 60 or older — 65 in a few states — the same conduct can also qualify as elder financial abuse, a separate offense in most states with enhanced penalties compared to ordinary theft.3United States Department of Justice. Elder Abuse and Elder Financial Exploitation Statutes These statutes recognize the heightened vulnerability of older adults, particularly to trusted family members with account access. An elder abuse charge can run alongside the ordinary theft charge and can trigger an APS investigation in parallel with the criminal case.
Evidence You Need to Gather
Strong documentation is what separates a case investigators and judges take seriously from a family argument. Start collecting now, before you decide which legal route to take.
- Bank and credit card statements showing unauthorized withdrawals, transfers, and charges. Pull at least the last 12 months; more if you think the theft has gone on longer.
- Canceled checks that reveal who received funds and whether signatures were forged.
- Property records — deeds, vehicle titles, investment account statements — for assets that may have been transferred or liquidated.
- Any written agreements: loan documents, promissory notes, anything about money that was supposed to be repaid.
- Digital communications. Texts, emails, voicemails, and social media messages where your child asked for money, promised to pay it back, or admitted taking funds. Screenshot everything and save it in more than one place.
Put the records in chronological order. A clear timeline showing when money left the account and where it went is what convinces investigators, judges, and attorneys.
Getting the Money Back
Criminal prosecution and civil recovery are separate tracks, and you can pursue both at the same time. One aims to punish, the other to make you whole.
Criminal Restitution
When a defendant is convicted of a property offense or a crime committed by fraud or deceit with an identifiable victim, federal law requires the court to order restitution in the full amount of the victim’s losses. The judge sets the amount without regard to the defendant’s ability to pay, though the payment schedule takes finances into account.4Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 U.S. Code 3663A – Mandatory Restitution to Victims of Certain Crimes Most states have similar statutes, and many make restitution mandatory for theft and fraud convictions.
A restitution order carries the force of a court judgment, and violations can result in probation revocation or additional penalties. Payments often come slowly if the defendant has limited means, but unlike a civil judgment you have to enforce yourself, the criminal system monitors compliance and can impose consequences for nonpayment.
A Civil Lawsuit
A civil suit begins with a complaint filed in the appropriate court, laying out what was taken, how, and the legal basis for recovery. Filing fees vary widely by jurisdiction and the amount in dispute. Many civil litigation attorneys who handle financial disputes or elder abuse cases offer free initial consultations, and some take larger cases on contingency, collecting a fee only if you win.
The burden of proof in civil court is lower than in a criminal case. You need to show it is more likely than not that the theft happened, not prove it beyond a reasonable doubt. Discovery — the exchange of documents and depositions — often uncovers the full scope of what was taken, and many civil theft cases settle once the evidence is on the table. If you win, the court issues a judgment for the stolen amount. Some states allow recovery of attorney’s fees and court costs on top of that. A number of states also authorize treble damages for civil theft, meaning three times the actual amount stolen.
Small Claims Court
If the amount falls within your state’s small claims limit, this route lets you pursue recovery without hiring an attorney. Small claims limits range from about $2,500 to $25,000 depending on the state, with most falling around $10,000. The process is faster and cheaper, and the rules of evidence are relaxed enough that you can present the case yourself. Above the threshold, you need a full civil filing.
Actually Collecting
Winning a judgment and collecting on it are two different things. If your child does not pay voluntarily, you may need wage garnishment or a bank account levy. These generally require a writ of execution from the court, served on the employer or bank through the sheriff or a process server. Federal law caps wage garnishment for most debts at 25% of disposable earnings, and some states set lower limits. If your child has no income or assets right now, a judgment can be difficult to collect immediately but usually stays enforceable for years and can be renewed.
When Joint Accounts or a Power of Attorney Are Involved
Joint bank accounts complicate everything. In most circumstances, any person named on a joint account can withdraw any amount, including the entire balance, without the other account holder’s permission.5Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. A Joint Checking Account Owner Took All the Money Out If you added your child to your account for convenience, they legally have access to the funds even if every dollar came from you. Criminal theft becomes much harder to prove when the person had legitimate access.
Joint access is not unlimited rights, though. If your child drained the account intending to keep the money permanently, or if the joint arrangement itself was created through deception, theft charges can still stick. Some states offer a “convenience account,” which gives someone access for transactions without ownership of the funds. Going forward, a convenience account or a properly drafted power of attorney is a far safer structure than adding a child to a joint account.
A child who serves as your agent under a power of attorney has a fiduciary duty. They must act in your best interest, avoid conflicts, stay within the scope of authority you granted, and keep records of every transaction they make for you. Writing themselves checks, transferring your assets into their name, or paying their own bills with your money breaches that duty. POA abuse supports both a civil suit for breach of fiduciary duty and criminal charges such as embezzlement or fraud, depending on state law. Proving it usually means comparing the agent’s financial records against yours to show unauthorized transfers and self-dealing, which is why the documentation above matters so much.
Watch the Medicaid Look-Back
This trap catches families off guard. When an older parent applies for Medicaid to cover long-term care, the state reviews the 60 months (five years) before the application and examines whether the applicant transferred assets for less than fair market value during that period.6CMS. Transfer of Assets in the Medicaid Program – Important Facts for State Policymakers If transfers show up, the applicant faces a penalty period during which Medicaid will not cover nursing home or home care costs.
Money stolen by an adult child can look like a voluntary transfer on paper. A parent who had $50,000 drained may have to prove the money was stolen, not gifted, to avoid a Medicaid penalty. A police report, an active legal case, and thorough documentation of the theft all help establish that the transfer was involuntary. Some states offer an undue hardship waiver where the penalty would endanger the applicant’s health, but the waiver typically requires proof that legal action to recover the assets has already been taken. Failing to report and document the theft can quietly cost a parent their Medicaid eligibility years down the road.
Deadlines You Cannot Miss
Every legal avenue has a clock. Criminal statutes of limitations for theft and fraud generally run two to six years depending on the state and whether the offense is charged as a misdemeanor or felony. Some states extend the deadline for elder abuse cases or toll the clock when the victim did not discover the theft right away. Civil statutes of limitations for fraud and breach of fiduciary duty also generally run two to six years, measured either from the date of the theft or the date it was discovered. The discovery rule matters: if your child concealed what they were doing and you only found out recently, the clock may start from the day you discovered it. An attorney in your state can tell you exactly how much time you have. The single worst mistake in these cases is waiting because the person is family.