You generally cannot stop a divorce, but you can contest its terms. Every state allows no-fault divorce, so if your spouse wants the marriage to end, it will end. What the law lets you fight over is how property and debts get divided, who gets custody, and whether anyone pays spousal or child support. That fight is what family lawyers mean by a “contested divorce,” and the answer to “can I contest a divorce” is yes on the terms and no on the outcome itself.1Justia. Contested vs. Uncontested Divorce and Legal Procedures
Understanding that distinction early saves a lot of wasted effort. A reluctant spouse can slow the process and increase costs, but courts will grant the divorce once the statutory requirements are met. A small number of states still require a separation period before a no-fault divorce can be finalized, and those waiting periods range from a few months to more than a year. Delay is not prevention.
What You Can Actually Contest
A contested divorce is a case where the spouses disagree on one or more key issues: division of property and debts, child custody, child support, or spousal support. When you cannot reach a settlement, the court steps in and decides.1Justia. Contested vs. Uncontested Divorce and Legal Procedures
Roughly 35 states also let you file on fault-based grounds such as adultery, abandonment, or cruelty. Proving fault does not change whether the divorce goes through, but it can influence the judge’s decisions on property division and support. If your spouse was unfaithful or abusive, raising fault may shift financial outcomes in your favor.
Responding to the Petition
If your spouse has already filed, the clock starts the moment you are served. You typically have 20 to 30 days to file a formal response.2Justia. Serving and Answering a Divorce Petition That response is where you agree or disagree with each claim in the petition and lay out your own requests through counterclaims. If your spouse asks for sole custody, your response is where you say you want shared custody. If the petition understates marital assets, flag it there.
Missing the deadline is one of the costliest mistakes in family law. If you do not respond in time, your spouse can request a default judgment, and the court can grant everything the petition asked for — property, support, custody — without your input.2Justia. Serving and Answering a Divorce Petition You lose by forfeit.
If You Already Missed the Deadline
You can file a motion to vacate the default judgment, asking the court to set it aside and let you respond. Courts are most receptive when you act quickly, ideally within 30 days of the default being entered, and when you can show “excusable neglect” such as a medical emergency, being out of the country, or never actually receiving the papers. Deliberately dodging service will not earn much sympathy from a judge. If the motion succeeds, the case resets and you get a limited window to file your response.
Protecting Yourself While the Case Is Pending
Contested divorces can stretch out for a year or more. Life does not pause during that time. Temporary orders, also called pendente lite orders, address urgent issues while the case works its way through the system.
Temporary Support
Either spouse can ask the court for temporary spousal support or child support. The court looks at each spouse’s income, expenses, and the standard of living during the marriage to decide whether support is warranted and how much. Temporary support automatically ends when the final decree is issued and is replaced by whatever the final order provides. If you are the lower-earning spouse and cannot pay your bills while the case drags on, filing for temporary support early is critical.
Temporary Custody and Asset Protection
Courts can establish a temporary custody arrangement based on the child’s best interests while the case is pending. Judges can also issue temporary restraining orders that prevent either spouse from draining bank accounts, selling property, or running up debt on joint credit cards. In true emergencies, such as a child at risk or a spouse about to liquidate a brokerage account, courts can issue these orders on an expedited basis.
Discovery: Where the Case Gets Built
Discovery is the formal exchange of information between spouses, and it is where contested divorces get expensive. The point is to ensure both sides have a complete picture of the marital finances and any facts relevant to custody before the case settles or goes to trial. Hiding assets during discovery can result in contempt of court, fines, or the judge ruling against the non-compliant spouse.
The main tools are interrogatories (written questions answered under oath), requests for production (formal demands for tax returns, bank statements, pay stubs, and similar records), subpoenas (compelling records from a reluctant spouse or a third party like a bank or employer), and depositions (sworn in-person questioning outside court, recorded by a court reporter, which lets your attorney test your spouse’s story and lock in their version of events before trial).
Attorney fees climb with every set of interrogatories drafted, every document reviewed, and every deposition scheduled. This is where most of the cost in a contested divorce accumulates. A good attorney knows which discovery tools are worth the expense and which amount to running up the bill without changing the outcome.
Mediation Before Trial
Many courts require spouses to attempt mediation before a contested case can proceed to trial, particularly when custody, property, or support is in dispute. A neutral mediator facilitates discussion and helps both sides explore compromises. Mediators do not make binding decisions or give legal advice. Any agreement reached must be put in writing and approved by the court to become enforceable.3Justia. The Divorce Process and Legal Requirements
Mediation offers flexibility a courtroom does not. Spouses can craft custody schedules, phase asset sales over time, or structure support in ways a judge might not think to order. It also costs a fraction of what a multi-day trial runs. Some courts offer reduced-fee or free mediation programs for lower-income parties.
When Mediation Is Not Appropriate
Mediation assumes roughly equal bargaining power and a willingness to negotiate honestly. When one spouse has been physically abusive, emotionally coercive, or controls all the finances, mediation can replicate those power dynamics rather than resolve them. Many states allow courts to waive mandatory mediation when there are credible allegations of domestic violence. Raise this issue with your attorney early. Sitting across a table from an abuser is not negotiation, and courts recognize that.
What Trial Looks Like
If mediation fails and settlement negotiations stall, the case goes to trial. Divorce trials are decided by a judge, not a jury. Each side presents evidence, calls witnesses, and cross-examines the other side’s witnesses. The judge then makes the final decisions on every unresolved issue.3Justia. The Divorce Process and Legal Requirements
Trials are expensive, unpredictable, and emotionally draining. You are handing the biggest financial decisions of your life to a stranger in a robe who has spent a few hours reviewing your case. Most family law attorneys will tell you that a negotiated settlement, even an imperfect one, usually beats the uncertainty of trial. Trial is sometimes the only option when one spouse refuses to negotiate or when the gap between the two positions is too wide to bridge.
A contested divorce that goes to trial commonly takes about a year from filing to final decree, though complex cases involving business valuations, custody battles, or significant assets can run longer. The total cost, including attorney fees, experts, and court costs, typically falls in the range of $15,000 to $20,000 or more. Uncontested divorces average around eight months and cost a fraction of that.
If You Think the Marriage Was Never Valid: Annulment
Sometimes the question behind “can I contest a divorce” is really “the marriage should not have existed in the first place.” That is an annulment, not a contested divorce, and the legal standards are different. A divorce dissolves a valid marriage. An annulment declares the marriage was never legally valid.
Grounds for annulment typically include:
- Fraud or concealment, where one spouse hid a major issue like a criminal history, an existing child, a serious illness, or substance abuse.
- Coercion, where one or both spouses were forced or tricked into the marriage.
- Bigamy, where one spouse was already married at the time of the ceremony.
- Underage marriage without proper consent.
- Incapacity, where one spouse could not consent due to mental disability, drugs, or alcohol at the time of the marriage.
If a court grants an annulment, the marriage is treated as though it never legally existed, which can significantly change how property, debts, and support obligations are handled. Annulments are far less common than divorces and harder to obtain because the burden of proof is heavier. If you believe your situation fits these grounds, raise it with an attorney before filing a standard response to a divorce petition.
Who Pays for the Lawyers
The default rule in most states is that each spouse pays their own attorney fees. But courts have discretion to order one spouse to contribute to the other’s legal costs when there is a significant income gap. The logic is simple: if one spouse earns far more, the lower-earning spouse should not be forced into a worse settlement because they cannot afford adequate representation.
Judges evaluate fee-shifting requests by looking at each spouse’s income, assets, debts, and ability to borrow. A spouse who earns three times what the other earns and has liquid savings is more likely to be ordered to help cover the other side’s legal costs. Courts can also shift fees as a sanction when one spouse engages in bad faith tactics like filing frivolous motions, refusing to comply with discovery, or deliberately dragging out the case.
To request a fee award, you file a formal motion supported by financial documentation and itemized legal bills. It is not automatic and must be raised during the proceedings. If you are the lower-earning spouse and worried about affording a contested divorce, ask your attorney about filing for temporary attorney fees early in the case so you are not fighting at a disadvantage from the start.