In almost every state, you cannot simply kick your 20-year-old out of the house on the spot. Once an adult child has been living in your home, the law usually treats them as a legal occupant who is entitled to written notice and, if they refuse to leave, a court-ordered eviction carried out by a sheriff. You own the house, they pay no rent, there is no lease, and the process still applies.
The specific notice periods, filing names, and timelines vary by state, but the sequence is the same everywhere: written notice, then a court filing if they don’t leave, then a judge’s order enforced by law enforcement.
Why the Police Won’t Just Remove Them
Parents are often shocked to learn that calling the police doesn’t work. Officers who respond to these calls will almost always tell you it’s a civil matter. Unless your child is committing a crime or there’s an active protective order, law enforcement typically won’t physically remove someone who has been living in the home. They will direct you to the courts.
The reason is that once someone has lived in your home for more than a brief visit, most states treat them as a legal occupant with a right to due process before removal. Factors like receiving mail at the address, keeping belongings there, and having no other residence all weigh in favor of established residency. The exact point when a guest crosses that line varies by state, but a 20-year-old who has been living with you is almost certainly past it.
Is Your Child a Tenant or a Licensee
The first legal question is whether your child qualifies as a tenant or a licensee. The answer shapes the notice period and the type of court filing you need.
Your child is more likely to be considered a tenant if any of these apply:
- They pay rent, even irregularly or informally.
- They contribute to household bills under an agreement that it counts toward their stay.
- There’s any kind of written or verbal rental arrangement, however casual.
Tenant status triggers the full set of landlord-tenant protections in your state. A verbal month-to-month arrangement counts as a tenancy in every state, even without a signed lease.
Your child is more likely a licensee if they live in your home purely with your permission, pay nothing, and there’s no agreement about rent or financial contribution. A licensee has fewer legal protections, and in many states you can revoke their permission with a shorter notice period and a simpler process. Simpler doesn’t mean no process. You still need written notice, and if they refuse to leave, you still need a court order to remove them.
Where this gets messy is when the classification is contested. A child who has been buying groceries or paying the electric bill might argue those contributions functioned as rent. If a judge agrees, what you thought was a licensee situation becomes a tenant eviction, potentially resetting your timeline. When the status is ambiguous, the safer approach is to follow the tenant eviction process from the start.
Don’t Change the Locks or Shut Off Utilities
This is where parents make the most expensive mistakes. Changing the locks while your child is out, shutting off the water or electricity, or moving their belongings onto the lawn is illegal in virtually every state. The legal term is “self-help eviction,” and courts treat it seriously regardless of whether you own the property outright.
Only a judge can order someone removed from a residence, and only a sheriff or other authorized officer can carry out that removal. If you bypass the court, your adult child can sue you for damages. Depending on the state, you could be liable for their hotel costs, the value of damaged belongings, attorney fees, and statutory penalties of double or even triple the actual damages. A parent who tries to save time and money by avoiding court often ends up paying far more than a proper eviction would have cost.
Serving Written Notice to Vacate
The formal process starts with a written notice telling your child they need to leave by a specific date. This is not a text message or a conversation. It’s a document that has to meet your jurisdiction’s requirements for content, format, and delivery.
The notice should clearly state your intention to end their right to live in the home, give a specific date by which they must vacate, and be dated and signed. Some states require specific language or a reference to the applicable statute. If your child is a tenant and there’s a reason for the eviction beyond simply wanting them out, the notice may need to describe that reason.
How Much Notice You Have to Give
Notice periods vary significantly by state and depend on your child’s legal status. For month-to-month tenancies with no specific cause, most states require 30 days’ notice, though some require as little as 15 days and others as much as 60 or 90. For nonpayment of rent, the notice period is usually shorter, often 3 to 14 days. Licensees typically need less notice than tenants, but even then most states require at least a few days to a few weeks.
The notice period doesn’t start when you hand your child the paper. It starts when the notice is legally considered served, and that distinction matters if the case ends up in court.
How to Deliver It
If the notice isn’t served properly, a court may throw out your eviction case before it starts. The safest methods are personal delivery, ideally with a witness present, or certified mail with return receipt requested. Some states also allow posting the notice on the front door combined with mailing a copy. Keep a copy of everything. If you hand-deliver, write down the date, time, and location, and have your witness do the same. This documentation becomes your proof of service.
Filing the Eviction Case
If your child doesn’t leave by the date in the notice, the next step is filing an eviction case. Depending on the state, it’s called an unlawful detainer action, a forcible entry and detainer, or an eviction complaint. You file it in the local court that handles landlord-tenant disputes, usually a district, county, or justice court.
The complaint explains that you own the home, your child has been living there, you gave proper notice, and they haven’t left. You’ll usually need to attach a copy of the notice. Filing fees generally run between $50 and $500.
After filing, the court issues a summons that has to be formally served on your child. This is different from the initial notice to vacate. Service of the summons and complaint usually requires a sheriff’s deputy, constable, or licensed process server. You generally cannot serve these court documents yourself because the court needs a neutral third party to confirm delivery.
The Hearing
The gap between service and the hearing ranges from about five days in some jurisdictions to several weeks in busier courts. At the hearing, both sides get to present their case. You have to show that you followed the correct notice procedures and that you have the legal right to possession.
Your child can raise defenses. They might argue they weren’t properly served, that they’re a tenant rather than a licensee and were entitled to more notice, or that the eviction is retaliatory. If the judge finds a procedural error, the case may be dismissed and you’ll have to start over. This is why getting the notice and filing right the first time matters.
If the judge rules in your favor, the court enters a judgment for possession. That doesn’t mean your child has to leave that day. Most jurisdictions give the occupant a short window, sometimes 24 hours, sometimes up to two weeks, to vacate voluntarily before enforcement begins.
Writ of Possession and Sheriff Lockout
If your child still won’t leave after the judgment, you request a writ of possession from the court. This is the document that authorizes law enforcement to physically remove them. The sheriff’s office schedules the actual lockout, and wait times range from a few days to several weeks. On the scheduled date, a deputy arrives, supervises your child’s departure, and may change the locks on the spot or allow you to do so. At that point, the eviction is legally complete.
Cost and Timeline
From start to finish, the process typically takes anywhere from five weeks to three months. Contested cases or procedural restarts can stretch that considerably.
Court filing fees run from $50 to $500. An attorney can cost from around $500 for a straightforward uncontested case to $5,000 or more if your child fights the eviction and it requires multiple hearings. Add process server fees, sheriff’s fees for executing the writ, and time away from work for court appearances. If you attempt a self-help eviction and get sued, the legal fees and damages will almost always exceed what a proper eviction would have cost.
What an Eviction Does to Your Child’s Record
Worth weighing before you file. An eviction case creates a court record that can follow your child for years and make it harder to rent an apartment.
Eviction court cases can appear on tenant screening reports for up to seven years.1Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. How Long Can Information Stay on My Tenant Screening Record Most landlords pull these reports during the application process, and many will reject an applicant with any eviction filing on record, even one that was ultimately dismissed. Under federal law, civil judgments including eviction judgments can be reported on consumer reports for seven years from the date of entry or until the statute of limitations expires, whichever is longer.2Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 15 USC 1681c – Requirements Relating to Information Contained in Consumer Reports
The eviction itself doesn’t appear on a standard credit report. If unpaid fees or a money judgment get sent to collections, though, that collection account will show up on credit reports and pull down your child’s credit score.
Belongings Left Behind
After your child moves out or is removed by the sheriff, they may leave things behind. You cannot just throw everything in the trash. Most states require written notice that the property was left behind and a reasonable period, typically 7 to 30 days depending on the state, for your child to reclaim it. Only after that period expires can you dispose of, donate, or sell the items. Some states have different rules based on the value of the property. Getting this wrong can expose you to a claim for the value of what you discarded.
Options to Try Before Filing
Eviction is a blunt tool for what is usually a relationship problem, and the court process can turn a difficult family situation into a permanently damaged one. A less adversarial approach may get your child out the door faster and without the legal costs and lasting record.
A Written Move-Out Agreement
Sit down and agree on a specific departure date, put it in writing, and have both parties sign. You might offer to help with a security deposit on a new apartment, cover the first month’s rent, or assist with moving. If that gets your child out in two weeks instead of two months, the math often works in your favor. A written agreement also gives you stronger footing if they don’t follow through and you have to proceed with formal eviction.
Family Mediation
A professional mediator acts as a neutral third party to help both sides reach an agreement. Mediation can surface underlying issues, such as mental health struggles, financial problems, or unspoken resentments, that a court process will never address. Many communities offer low-cost or sliding-scale mediation services.
Mediation works best when both sides are willing to participate in good faith. If your child refuses to engage or has already said they won’t leave voluntarily under any circumstances, formal eviction may be your only realistic option. It’s still usually worth attempting first, both because it can resolve the situation faster and because a judge who later sees that you tried to work things out will view your case more favorably.