To file a restraining order, you fill out a petition at your local courthouse describing what the other person has done, a judge reviews it the same day and usually issues a temporary order for immediate protection, the other person is served with the paperwork, and then both of you appear at a full hearing where the judge decides whether to grant a longer-term order. You don’t need a lawyer to start the process, and in domestic violence cases the filing is often free.
Whether Your Situation Qualifies
Courts issue restraining orders when someone’s conduct rises to a genuine safety threat: physical abuse, credible threats of violence, stalking, or a pattern of severe harassment. Stalking usually means repeated unwanted contact, like showing up at your home or workplace, following you, or messaging you after being told to stop. A single unpleasant argument generally isn’t enough. Judges look for either a pattern of behavior or one incident serious enough that a reasonable person would fear for their safety.
Your relationship with the other person decides which type of order you file for. Every state draws a line between people who share a close personal relationship and everyone else.
- Domestic violence protective orders cover spouses, ex-spouses, romantic partners, people you live with or used to live with, family members, and the other parent of your child. These carry the broadest relief.
- Civil harassment orders cover neighbors, coworkers, acquaintances, and strangers. The burden of proof is similar, but the available remedies are narrower.
- Elder or dependent adult abuse orders protect people 65 and older, or dependent adults, from abuse, neglect, or financial exploitation.
- Workplace violence orders are filed by an employer on behalf of a threatened employee, not by the employee.
- Several states also offer standalone stalking or sexual assault orders regardless of the relationship between the parties.
What to Gather Before You File
You’ll need the other person’s full legal name, and ideally their date of birth and last known home and work addresses. Courts use this to identify the right person, and law enforcement needs it to serve the papers.
Then write out what happened. The petition asks for a detailed account, and specifics carry far more weight than emotional language. Go chronologically: date, time, location, what the person did, what they said. “On March 12, he stood outside my apartment for two hours after I asked him to leave” reads much stronger to a judge than “he’s always scaring me.”
Supporting evidence strengthens the case. Useful items include:
- Photographs of injuries or property damage
- Screenshots of threatening texts, emails, or social media messages
- Voicemails
- Police report numbers
- Names and contact information for anyone who witnessed an incident
You don’t need a perfect file to get a temporary order. But the more documentation you bring to the full hearing, the better your chances of a longer-term order.
Where and How to File the Petition
File the completed petition with the clerk at your local courthouse. Most court websites let you download the forms, and many courthouses have self-help centers with staff who can help you fill them out. Domestic violence organizations often provide free advocates who will walk you through the paperwork and go to court with you.
Once the petition is filed, a judge reviews it, often the same day, in what’s called an ex parte hearing. Ex parte just means the other person isn’t there. You may speak briefly with the judge, or the judge may simply read the paperwork.
The Temporary Order and Getting the Other Person Served
If the judge finds enough cause for concern, they issue a temporary restraining order, commonly called a TRO. This gives you immediate protection while the court schedules the full hearing. How long a TRO lasts varies by state. Some expire in as few as 5 court days; others last up to 20 or 30. Most fall in the 10-to-21-day range, long enough to serve the other person and set a hearing date.
A TRO isn’t enforceable until the respondent has been officially served with the court papers. Someone other than you must deliver the documents: a sheriff’s deputy, a process server, or another adult approved by the court. You cannot hand the papers over yourself. If the person is dodging service, tell the court. Judges can extend a TRO or authorize alternative service methods.
The Full Hearing
At the hearing, both sides tell their story. You present your evidence, call any witnesses, and explain why you need ongoing protection. The other person has the right to attend, present evidence, cross-examine your witnesses, and argue against the order. They can hire an attorney, though courts generally do not appoint one for free in civil protective order cases.
If the judge grants a final order, it typically lasts between one and five years, depending on the state and the severity of the situation. Some states default to two years; others allow up to five. Many jurisdictions let you request a renewal before the order expires if you still have reason to fear the respondent.
What the Order Can Require
A final order is tailored to your situation. Common provisions include:
- No contact by phone, text, email, social media, or through third parties
- Stay-away requirements at a specified distance from you, your home, your workplace, and your children’s school, commonly around 100 yards
- Move-out orders in domestic violence cases, requiring the respondent to leave a shared residence even if both names are on the lease
- Temporary custody and visitation decisions
- Firearms surrender, prohibiting the respondent from possessing guns or buying new ones for the duration of the order
The firearms piece has an added federal layer in domestic violence cases. Under federal law, anyone subject to a qualifying domestic violence restraining order is prohibited from possessing firearms or ammunition. The prohibition applies when the order was issued after a hearing where the respondent had notice and a chance to participate, restrains the respondent from threatening or harassing an intimate partner or their child, and either includes a finding that the respondent is a credible threat to the partner’s physical safety or explicitly prohibits the use of physical force. Violating it is a federal felony punishable by up to 15 years in prison. Federal law defines “intimate partner” as a spouse, former spouse, co-parent, or someone who cohabitates or has cohabitated with the respondent, so a civil harassment order against a neighbor or stranger does not trigger the federal ban on its own, though state firearms laws may still apply.1Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 922 – Unlawful Acts
Costs and Whether You Need a Lawyer
Filing fees vary widely by jurisdiction, from nothing to several hundred dollars depending on the type of order and the court. In domestic violence cases, many states waive filing fees entirely, and federal funding conditions discourage courts from charging victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, dating violence, or stalking any costs to file, issue, or serve a protective order. If your case doesn’t qualify for an automatic waiver, you can request one based on financial hardship. Service by a sheriff or process server may carry a separate fee, often waived in domestic violence cases as well.
You don’t need an attorney to file, and many people handle the temporary order stage on their own using self-help resources and courthouse staff. The full hearing is where legal help matters most. The other side may show up with an attorney, and the hearing follows formal rules about evidence and testimony. If your case involves contested child custody, complicated property issues, or a respondent likely to fight hard against the order, a lawyer makes a real difference. Many legal aid organizations offer free representation in protective order cases, particularly for domestic violence victims.
If the Order Is Violated
Any breach of the order’s terms is a criminal offense, whether it’s a phone call, a text, or showing up somewhere prohibited. Call law enforcement immediately if it happens. Police can arrest the person on the spot; you don’t need to file a separate complaint.
At the state level, a first-time violation is typically a misdemeanor, carrying potential jail time, fines, and probation. Repeated violations, or violations involving violence, often escalate to felony charges.
Federal law adds another layer. Crossing state lines with the intent to violate a protection order is a separate federal crime, punishable by up to 5 years in prison for a standard violation, up to 10 years if serious bodily injury results, up to 20 years for permanent disfigurement or life-threatening injury, and up to life in prison if the victim dies.2Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 2262 – Interstate Violation of Protection Order
If You Move or Travel
Your order doesn’t stop at the state line. Federal law requires every state, tribe, and territory to recognize and enforce a valid protection order issued anywhere in the United States, including temporary orders, final orders, and any custody or support provisions inside a protective order.3Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 2265 – Full Faith and Credit Given to Protection Orders4Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 2266 – Definitions You don’t have to re-register the order in a new state, but carrying a certified copy makes it easier if you need to call local police. Some states offer voluntary registration systems that put your order into the local law enforcement database, which speeds up the response if you ever need to report a violation.
If circumstances change and the order needs to be modified or ended, only a judge can do that. You and the other person agreeing privately to drop it doesn’t make it go away. Until a judge signs off, the order stays in full effect and the respondent can still be arrested for violating it.