Same-sex couples can marry in every U.S. state, the District of Columbia, and all U.S. territories, and the requirements for a same-sex marriage are the same requirements that apply to any other couple: meet your state’s eligibility rules, get a license from the county clerk, hold a ceremony with an authorized officiant, and return the signed license for recording. The Supreme Court’s 2015 decision in Obergefell v. Hodges made this a constitutional right, and the Respect for Marriage Act of 2022 added a federal statutory backstop.1LII / Legal Information Institute. Obergefell v. Hodges2Social Security Administration. The President Signs H.R. 8404, the Respect for Marriage Act
Where It’s Legal and Why That Won’t Change Easily
Obergefell requires every state to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples and to recognize same-sex marriages performed elsewhere. Because the ruling is grounded in the Fourteenth Amendment, no state can opt out.
The Respect for Marriage Act, signed as Public Law 117-228 in December 2022, adds a second layer. It updated the federal definition of marriage so that any marriage of two people that was valid where it was performed counts as a marriage for all federal purposes, and it bars any state from refusing to honor a marriage lawfully performed in another state based on the sex or race of the spouses.3Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 1 USC 7 – Marriage If Obergefell were ever narrowed, the RMA would still require every state to recognize a same-sex marriage performed in a state that allows it, and the federal government would still treat it as valid. The RMA also makes clear that no church or religious organization can be forced to perform or celebrate a same-sex marriage.
Who Can Marry
The eligibility rules do not depend on the sex of the applicants. In nearly every state, both people must be at least 18 to marry without parental or judicial consent, with a few states setting the threshold at 19 or 21. A growing number of states now prohibit marriage under 18 entirely, even with parental permission. Both applicants must have the mental capacity to understand what marriage is and must consent freely.
Both people also have to be legally single when they apply. Any earlier marriage must have ended through divorce, annulment, or the death of the former spouse, and you’ll need documentation of that. Every state prohibits marriage between close relatives, including siblings and parents and children.
A short list of states — Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, South Carolina, Texas, and Utah — recognize common law marriage, which allows a couple to become legally married without a license or ceremony by meeting requirements like mutual agreement, cohabitation, and holding themselves out publicly as married. Those rules apply the same way to same-sex couples. Everywhere else, you need to go through the formal licensing process.
Documents to Bring
Both applicants typically appear at the clerk’s office with:
- A government-issued photo ID, such as a driver’s license, state ID card, or current passport.
- Proof of age, usually an original or certified birth certificate. Some offices accept the photo ID for this.
- Your Social Security number. Applicants who aren’t eligible for one may need a letter from the Social Security Administration confirming that.
- Proof any prior marriage ended: a certified divorce decree, court-ordered annulment, or death certificate for a former spouse. Every prior marriage has to be accounted for.
The application asks for both applicants’ full legal names exactly as they appear on ID, dates and places of birth, and parents’ full names and birthplaces, including maiden names. That information goes on the permanent marriage certificate, so accuracy matters. Requirements vary by county, so check the local clerk or registrar’s website in advance. Many offices post the application form so you can fill it out before you arrive.
Getting the License
Both applicants have to appear together at the county clerk’s office or the equivalent local registrar. Some offices take walk-ins; many now require appointments, especially in larger metros. Fees generally run between $30 and $115, and offices differ on whether they take cash, checks, or cards.
About half of states impose a waiting period between application and when the license can be used, usually 24 to 72 hours. If you have a wedding date, work backward from it. Some states waive the waiting period, and sometimes cut the fee, for couples who complete a premarital counseling course.
Every license also has an expiration date. Windows range from 30 days on the short end to six months or a year on the longer end, and a few states issue licenses that don’t expire.4USAGov. How to Get a Copy of a Marriage Certificate or a Marriage License If the ceremony doesn’t happen inside that window, you have to reapply and pay again. Confirm the expiration rule in your jurisdiction before you file.
The Ceremony and Filing the Signed License
An authorized officiant has to perform the ceremony and sign the license for the marriage to be legally valid. Most states recognize religious officiants (ordained or licensed clergy of any denomination) and civil officiants (judges, magistrates, justices of the peace, and certain other government officials). Many states also let a friend or family member be temporarily deputized for one specific ceremony. Rules vary, so confirm with the clerk before you assume your chosen officiant qualifies.
Roughly half of states require one or two witnesses to sign the license along with the officiant, and most of those states call for two. The rest, and the District of Columbia, don’t require any witnesses. Witnesses generally have to be legal adults.
After the ceremony, the signed license goes back to the issuing clerk’s office. The officiant usually returns it, though some jurisdictions let the couple do it. The deadline is typically 30 days. Once the clerk records the document, the office produces the official marriage certificate. That certificate is what you’ll use going forward — updating identification, adding a spouse to insurance, proving marital status. Certified copies are available from the clerk’s office, usually for a small fee.
What Marriage Changes Federally
Every federal benefit and protection that comes with marriage applies equally to same-sex and opposite-sex couples.
Taxes
Once you’re married, your federal return is either Married Filing Jointly or Married Filing Separately; Single is off the table. The IRS treats a marriage as valid if it was legal where it was performed, regardless of where you live now. Filing jointly usually produces a lower combined tax bill and a higher standard deduction, but Married Filing Separately can be the better choice in some situations, such as when one spouse has heavy medical expenses or income-driven student loan payments. A surviving spouse can file jointly for the year a spouse dies and may qualify for Qualifying Surviving Spouse status for the following two years.5Internal Revenue Service. Publication 501 – Dependents, Standard Deduction, and Filing Information
Social Security
Married same-sex couples qualify for Social Security spousal and survivor benefits under the same rules as anyone else. Survivor benefits generally require at least nine months of marriage, with exceptions for accidental death and certain other circumstances. The Social Security Administration will also consider whether an unconstitutional state ban prevented a couple from meeting the duration requirement.6Social Security Administration. Survivors Benefits for Same-Sex Partners and Spouses
Family and Medical Leave
The Department of Labor updated the FMLA regulations in 2015 to use a “place of celebration” rule, so your FMLA rights depend on where you got married, not where you currently live. Eligible employees can take FMLA leave to care for a same-sex spouse with a serious health condition and for qualifying military exigencies and military caregiver leave. Stepchildren and stepparents in same-sex marriages are covered without a separate showing of caregiving.
Immigration
U.S. citizens and lawful permanent residents can sponsor a same-sex spouse for a family-based immigrant visa through Form I-130, using the same process and evidence any other couple uses. USCIS treats same-sex marriages identically to opposite-sex marriages for every immigration benefit.
Hospital Visitation and Medical Decisions
Any hospital that participates in Medicare or Medicaid must respect a patient’s right to designate visitors and cannot deny visitation based on sexual orientation or gender identity.7Federal Register. Respecting the Rights of Hospital Patients to Receive Visitors and to Designate Surrogate Decision Makers As a legal spouse, you also have default authority to make medical decisions if your partner is incapacitated, though advance directives are still worth putting in place.
Veterans Benefits
The Department of Veterans Affairs provides the same spousal benefits to same-sex married couples as to any other married couple, including Dependency and Indemnity Compensation and Survivors Pension. VA guidance issued in 2022 instructs claims adjudicators not to penalize same-sex surviving spouses who couldn’t meet marriage-duration requirements because state bans prevented them from marrying earlier.8Federal Register. Instruction of the Secretary and General Policy Statement on the Administration of Benefits
Changing Your Name
Neither spouse has to change their name. If you do decide to take your spouse’s last name, hyphenate, or create a new combined surname, the marriage certificate is the foundational document. Start with Social Security and your passport, since most other agencies want to see those already updated.
For Social Security, some states let you begin the change through your online my Social Security account; otherwise, you complete Form SS-5 and provide proof of identity, your new legal name, and the marriage certificate as evidence of the name-change event.9Social Security Administration. How Do I Change or Correct My Name on My Social Security Number Card Your Social Security number stays the same; only the name on the card changes.
For a passport, timing controls the form. If the name changed within a year of your current passport being issued, submit Form DS-5504 by mail with the passport, marriage certificate, and a new photo, at no processing fee unless you want expedited service. Past one year, you renew by mail with Form DS-82 or apply in person with Form DS-11, and standard renewal fees apply.10U.S. Department of State. Change or Correct a Passport Routine processing currently runs four to six weeks, or two to three weeks with expedited service for an additional $60.
After Social Security and the passport are updated, work through the rest: driver’s license or state ID at the DMV, bank accounts, employer records, insurance policies, and any professional licenses. Most accept the marriage certificate as proof of the change, though some also want to see the updated Social Security card. Handling them in one batch in the months after the wedding keeps anything from slipping through.