Yes, you can be buried with your spouse, and nearly every cemetery in the country offers a way to do it. The three common arrangements are side-by-side plots, a single double-depth grave that stacks two caskets, or a shared cremation niche. Which ones are available depends on the cemetery you choose, and if either of you served in the military, a national cemetery will provide the space, the opening and closing, and a headstone at no cost.
Your Three Main Options
Side-by-Side Plots
The simplest arrangement is two adjacent grave spaces, usually sold as a pair and often called companion plots. Each spouse has a separate burial. The graves can share one wide headstone or carry individual markers, and some cemeteries set aside whole sections for couples.
Double-Depth Burial
A double-depth grave stacks two caskets vertically in a single plot. The first casket is placed at roughly seven feet, and the second goes in later at standard depth. One plot does the work of two, which usually brings down the total land cost. Not every cemetery offers it. Cemeteries in areas with high water tables or rocky ground may not permit double-depth burial at all, and those that do sometimes charge a surcharge for the deeper initial excavation.
Cremation Arrangements
Cremation gives couples the most flexibility. Two urns can share a single columbarium niche, an above-ground structure built to hold cremated remains. Urns can also be buried together in one plot at a much shallower depth than caskets. Many cemeteries will even allow an urn to be placed on top of an existing casket in an occupied grave, which is especially useful when one spouse chose traditional burial and the other later chooses cremation. Some cemeteries maintain dedicated urn gardens with smaller, less expensive plots.
What It Costs
Burying a couple multiplies some expenses and consolidates others. The main categories are worth knowing before you compare options.
- Burial plots. A single plot in a public cemetery generally runs $1,000 to $2,500. Private cemeteries charge $2,500 to $5,000 or more. Companion plots sold as a pair may carry a modest discount over buying two singles. Double-depth rights on a single plot typically add 60 to 70 percent to the base plot price, which still usually comes in below the cost of two side-by-side plots.
- Opening and closing fees. Every time a grave is opened and sealed back up, the cemetery charges a separate fee, typically $800 to $1,500 per interment. Weekend and holiday burials often carry a surcharge. A companion arrangement means paying this fee twice, years apart.
- Outer burial containers. Most cemeteries require a vault or grave liner around the casket to keep the ground from sinking. Federal law doesn’t mandate them, but cemetery policy almost always does. Prices range from around $1,000 for a basic concrete liner to $10,000 for premium models. Each casket needs its own.
- Perpetual care. Many cemeteries add a mandatory perpetual care charge on top of the plot price, often 10 to 50 percent of the lot sale price, which funds long-term grounds maintenance.
- Cremation niches. A single outdoor columbarium niche starts around $300 to $800. Indoor niches in chapels or mausoleums cost considerably more. Companion niches built for two urns are widely available.
The total gap between options is significant. A couple choosing double-depth burial buys one plot instead of two but still pays for two openings, two vaults, and two caskets. A couple choosing cremation with a shared niche can spend a fraction of what traditional burial costs. Running the numbers at the specific cemetery you’re considering is worth the time.
Cemetery Rules That May Narrow Your Choices
Every cemetery writes its own rules, and they vary more than people expect. Some only permit side-by-side companion burials and don’t offer double-depth graves. Others restrict certain sections to casket burials and set aside separate areas for cremated remains. A few won’t allow an urn in the same plot as a casket, though most will accommodate it with advance notice.
Religious cemeteries often add another layer. Some require both spouses to share the same faith for burial in a couples section. Others have specific rules about headstone design, the direction the body faces, or whether cremation is permitted at all. If either spouse belongs to a faith with particular burial traditions, check the denominational rules early.
Free Burial Through a VA National Cemetery
If either spouse served in the military, VA burial benefits are one of the most valuable options available and one of the most overlooked. Eligible veterans and their spouses can be buried in a national cemetery at no cost for the gravesite, the opening and closing of the grave, or a government-furnished headstone or marker. Those three items alone can easily save a family $5,000 or more compared to a private cemetery.
Spouses and dependents of eligible veterans qualify for burial in a national cemetery even if the veteran isn’t buried or memorialized there.1National Cemetery Administration. Eligibility – National Cemetery Administration A surviving spouse who remarried a non-veteran after the veteran’s death remains eligible, as long as the surviving spouse’s death occurred on or after January 1, 2000.2Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 38 USC 2402 – Persons Eligible for Interment Former spouses whose marriage ended in divorce or annulment are not eligible unless they independently qualify through their own service.
Couples in a national cemetery can choose side-by-side graves with separate headstones or share a single gravesite with inscriptions for both spouses on one headstone.3Veterans Affairs. Government Headstones and Markers FAQs The VA also provides memorial headstones for eligible spouses whose remains are unavailable, though this applies only in national, military, or state veterans cemeteries, not private ones.
The VA offers a pre-need eligibility determination that lets you confirm burial eligibility before death.4Veterans Affairs. Pre-Need Eligibility for Burial in a VA National Cemetery Each family member needs a separate application. Approval doesn’t reserve a specific gravesite, but it gives your family documented confirmation of eligibility to present when the time comes.
Making Sure You Actually End Up Together
Buying a burial plot isn’t quite like buying real estate. What you purchase is a right of interment, meaning permission to use a specific grave space while the cemetery keeps ownership of the land. Your rights are governed by the cemetery’s rules and your agreement with them.
The cemetery records that right through a deed or certificate naming who holds it and who can be buried in the space. For a companion arrangement, both spouses need to be listed on the documentation. If only one name appears and that spouse dies first, the survivor can face bureaucratic hurdles trying to use the second space, and in rare cases may lose access to it altogether. Transferring burial rights after a death typically means producing a death certificate, proof of your relationship, and any estate documents establishing your claim. Some cemeteries charge a transfer fee. The process is straightforward when both names are on the deed from the start.
Pre-planning is the single most effective thing couples can do to make sure they end up buried together. Waiting until one spouse dies creates time pressure, limits options, and often means paying more. Arranging a companion plot, niche, or double-depth grave in advance locks in the physical space and, in many cases, the price. The FTC’s Funeral Rule requires any provider selling pre-need arrangements to give you an itemized General Price List showing individual costs for every good and service, rather than offering only bundled packages.5Federal Trade Commission. Complying with the Funeral Rule
When a spouse dies, the surviving spouse almost always has the primary legal right to control burial decisions. That authority usually overrides adult children, parents, siblings, and other relatives unless the deceased named a specific agent in a written declaration. To prevent disputes, especially in blended families, write your burial wishes down and share them with everyone likely to be involved. Include the cemetery name, plot number or niche location, pre-need contract details, and your preferences for the service. Burial wishes stated only in a will can arrive too late, since wills are often not read until after the funeral. A separate written document kept somewhere accessible is more reliable than anyone’s memory in a hard week.