Chosen family leave laws let you take paid time off to care for someone who isn’t your spouse, parent, or child, as long as your bond with them functions like a family relationship. At least ten states now recognize these relationships in their paid family leave programs, and a few cities do too. The federal Family and Medical Leave Act does not, which is why where you live and work determines almost everything about whether you can use this kind of leave.
What Counts as Chosen Family
Most state laws use some version of the same standard: the person must be related to you by blood or have a close association with you that is the equivalent of a family relationship. That second half does the work. It is written to cover long-term partners, close friends who serve as primary support, mentors who raised you informally, and anyone else whose role in your life mirrors what a traditional relative would provide.
The practical test looks at the depth and history of the bond, not a checklist. Agencies consider whether the relationship predates the medical situation, whether you and the care recipient rely on each other for emotional or financial support, and whether the commitment resembles what people expect from close family. A college roommate you haven’t spoken to in years will not qualify. A lifelong friend who helped you through your own health crisis and whom you would drop everything for probably will.
Each state phrases it slightly differently. Colorado covers anyone with whom you have a “significant personal bond that is like a family relationship.” Oregon covers “any person you are connected to like a family member.” Washington covers someone who has an expectation to rely on you for care, whether or not you live together. Minnesota covers any individual whose relationship with you creates an expectation and reliance that you will care for them. The wording varies; the idea does not.
States That Recognize Chosen Family Leave
The states with paid family leave programs that include chosen family or a similar expanded definition currently include:
- Colorado, through its FAMLI program, with up to 12 weeks of paid leave.
- Connecticut, covering any individual related by blood or affinity whose close association you can show is the equivalent of a listed family relationship.
- Minnesota, whose program launched January 1, 2026.
- New Jersey, which uses the broadest statutory language of any state.
- Oregon, covering anyone connected to you like a family member.
- Washington, using a reliance-based test.
- California, which lets you name a “designated person” — anyone equivalent to family — with a limit of one per 12-month period under the California Family Rights Act. A broader expansion for designated persons under the state’s paid leave program takes effect for claims filed on or after July 1, 2028.
- Massachusetts and New York, which include expanded definitions in their paid family leave programs.
- Maine, whose program begins paying benefits on May 1, 2026.
New York City also extends protections through its Earned Safe and Sick Time Act, which lets employees use accrued sick time to care for anyone whose close association with them is the equivalent of a family relationship.1NYC.gov. Protected Time Off: Frequently Asked Questions Several other cities have adopted similar local ordinances.
If your state is not on this list, no state-level paid leave to care for a chosen family member is available to you. Some employers offer their own paid leave benefits that go beyond what state law requires, so your employee handbook is worth checking before you assume there is nothing.
Why FMLA Will Not Cover This
The Family and Medical Leave Act entitles eligible employees to up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave a year, but only for a narrow list of relationships. You can take FMLA leave for your spouse, your child, or your parent with a serious health condition. That is the entire list. Siblings, grandparents, in-laws, domestic partners, and close friends are all excluded.2U.S. Department of Labor. Family and Medical Leave Act
FMLA also has eligibility hurdles: at least 12 months of work for a covered employer, at least 1,250 hours over that period, and a worksite where the employer has 50 or more employees within 75 miles.3U.S. Department of Labor. Fact Sheet 28: The Family and Medical Leave Act Even when you clear them, the leave is unpaid. State programs are the ones that broadened the family definition and added partial wage replacement.
Who Qualifies for Benefits
Eligibility for wage replacement varies by state, but most programs require you to have earned a minimum amount of wages or worked a minimum number of hours during a base period before your leave starts. Washington, for example, requires 820 hours of work in the prior 12 months. Other states use dollar thresholds ranging from a few hundred to several thousand dollars in base-period earnings.
Employer size matters less for benefit eligibility than for job protection. Most state programs cover all private-sector employees regardless of employer size, because your payroll deductions fund the insurance pool whether your employer has five workers or five thousand. A few states phase coverage by size; Delaware, for instance, covers employers with 10 to 24 employees only for parental leave and requires 25 or more for other leave types.
Programs replace a portion of your wages, not all of them. Most use a progressive formula that replaces a higher percentage for lower earners and a lower percentage for higher earners. California replaces 70 to 90 percent of weekly wages depending on income, up to $1,765 per week. Maximum caregiving leave runs from about 4 weeks in some programs to 12 weeks in states including Colorado, Connecticut, and Oregon. Weekly benefit caps are adjusted annually, so check your state program’s website for the current figure.
Proving the Relationship
Because chosen family relationships lack the marriage certificates and birth records that prove traditional family ties, state programs require you to document the bond separately. The standard is a signed attestation: a statement made under penalty of perjury confirming that a significant personal bond exists and describing your caregiving role.
State agencies provide standardized attestation forms. They generally ask for the care recipient’s name, how long you have known each other, the nature of your relationship, and a description of the care you plan to provide. Completing them precisely matters. Vague descriptions and missing fields lead to processing delays.
Programs or employers may ask for additional evidence. Useful documents include joint bank statements, shared utility accounts, or beneficiary designations that show financial ties; a lease or mortgage listing both names, or shared household bills, that show a shared home; and records that you have listed each other as emergency contacts with employers, medical providers, or schools. You will not always need all of these. The attestation alone often satisfies a program, but gathering supporting documents in advance prevents scrambling if the agency asks. Applications land best when they show a bond that clearly predates the medical situation.
Medical Certification for the Care Recipient
You will also need a health care provider to certify that the care recipient has a qualifying condition. The provider typically documents when the condition began, how long it is expected to last, whether the person will be continuously incapacitated or needs intermittent care, and why your participation is medically necessary, meaning the patient needs help with basic medical needs, hygiene, transportation, or physical or psychological support. If you are requesting intermittent or reduced-schedule leave, the certification must estimate the hours per day and days per week you will be needed, and the expected date range. Getting this form completed before you file speeds things up substantially.
What Happens If You Misrepresent the Relationship
Attestations are signed under penalty of perjury. Intentional misrepresentation can result in disqualification from future benefits, required repayment of amounts received, and additional fines. Serious cases can be prosecuted as a misdemeanor. These consequences exist to protect the insurance funds that workers pay into, and they are the reason the programs can afford to extend benefits to non-traditional relationships at all.
How to Request Leave
In states that run their own insurance programs, you file through the state agency’s online portal; most also accept mailed applications. Timing matters. Under FMLA, employees must give at least 30 days’ advance notice when leave is foreseeable, such as a scheduled surgery, and notice as soon as practicable when the need is unexpected.4eCFR. 29 CFR 825.302 – Employee Notice Requirements for Foreseeable FMLA Leave Most state programs follow a similar structure, though the specific notice windows vary. Filing early ensures wage replacement begins as close to the start of your leave as possible.
Every state program offers an administrative appeal if your claim is denied. The denial notice will explain the reason and set out your appeal rights and deadlines. Do not ignore a denial. Many are based on incomplete documentation rather than ineligibility, and providing the missing information often resolves them.
Job Protection Is a Separate Question
This is where people get tripped up. Qualifying for paid leave benefits and having your job protected are two different things. FMLA guarantees job restoration only for FMLA-covered reasons, and caring for a chosen family member is not one of them. Any right to return to your same or equivalent job comes from state law, if your state provides it.5U.S. Department of Labor. Fact Sheet 28A: Employee Protections under the Family and Medical Leave Act
Most states with paid family leave programs do include their own job protection provisions, but the scope varies. Washington’s program, for example, provides job protection only if you work for an employer with more than 50 employees and have worked at least one year with 1,250 hours. If you work for a smaller employer, you may receive wage replacement from the state fund with no legal guarantee that your position will be waiting.
Anti-retaliation provisions also vary. Many states prohibit employers from firing, demoting, or disciplining you for taking approved leave, but enforcement strength differs. FMLA prohibits employers from counting leave against you in employment decisions or under no-fault attendance policies, but that only applies to FMLA-qualifying leave.6U.S. Department of Labor. Fact Sheet 77B: Protection for Individuals under the FMLA Before you take leave, check whether your state’s program provides its own job protection and whether your employer’s size qualifies you for it.
Federal Tax Treatment in 2026
The federal tax treatment of state paid family leave benefits is unsettled, and 2026 is a transition year. IRS Revenue Ruling 2025-4 concluded that medical leave benefits paid by a state and attributable to employer contributions are included in gross income and treated as third-party sick pay for federal tax purposes.7Internal Revenue Service. Notice 2026-6: Extension of Transition Period to Calendar Year 2026
IRS Notice 2026-6 then suspended enforcement of that ruling through the end of 2026. During this transition, states and employers are not required to follow income tax withholding and reporting requirements for these benefits and will not face penalties for not doing so. In practical terms, you may receive benefits in 2026 with no federal tax withheld, and the benefits might still be taxable when you file. Some states issue a 1099-G; others do not.7Internal Revenue Service. Notice 2026-6: Extension of Transition Period to Calendar Year 2026 Setting aside a portion of your benefits for potential federal tax is the safer approach until the IRS issues further guidance.
Practical Steps Before You Need Leave
The worst time to learn how your state’s program works is while someone you love is already in crisis. A few things worth doing now:
- Confirm your state has a program with an expanded family definition, and read the specific wording it uses. State paid leave websites publish the current definitions and application forms.
- Verify your own eligibility. Look at your pay stubs for the state paid leave deduction, often labeled SDI, PFML, or a state-specific abbreviation, and confirm you have met the hours or earnings threshold.
- Start gathering relationship documentation. Financial records, emergency contact designations, and anything else that shows the bond predates the current medical situation will strengthen an attestation.
- Find out whether your employer’s size and your tenure qualify you for state job protection. If they do not, consider talking to your employer about leave arrangements before you file, because your position may not be legally guaranteed on return.
The programs are catching up to the reality that the person who shows up during a health crisis is not always someone you share DNA or a marriage certificate with. The rules remain fragmented across states, and federal law has not followed. Knowing where your state stands before an emergency is what separates using the benefit smoothly from filling out paperwork while someone needs you.