In most states, yes — you need someone legally authorized to solemnize the marriage and sign your license. But the question “Do I need an officiant to get married?” has more flexibility built into it than most couples realize. A few jurisdictions let you marry yourselves with no officiant at all, and in the rest, almost anyone can become a legal officiant through online ordination in a matter of minutes. What you actually need depends on where you plan to marry and how much control you want over the ceremony.
Who Counts as a Legal Officiant
Every state keeps its own list, but the categories overlap. Judges, justices of the peace, and magistrates can officiate anywhere in the country. Ordained or licensed clergy of any recognized religious denomination qualify in every state as well. Beyond that, some states also authorize mayors, county clerks, certain federal officials such as bankruptcy judges, or notaries public.
If you don’t have a judge or religious leader in mind and you don’t want to plan a traditional wedding, the simplest route is a civil ceremony at a courthouse or city hall. A judge or clerk handles the formalities, the ceremony takes a few minutes, and the government fee is modest.
Can a Friend Officiate Your Wedding?
In most states, yes, and online ordination is how people do it. Organizations like the Universal Life Church and American Marriage Ministries will ordain someone in minutes, usually for free, and that ordination is accepted in the vast majority of states.
Around 15 states and territories, including New York, Massachusetts, Nevada, Virginia, and Ohio, require the officiant to register with a government office before the ceremony. Registration fees run from roughly $10 to $110, and processing can take anywhere from a few days to six weeks, so a friend who agrees to officiate needs to start that paperwork early.
A handful of places create real complications. Tennessee passed a law in 2019 restricting internet-ordained officiants; enforcement has been inconsistent and the law faces ongoing legal challenges. Some Virginia counties refuse to recognize online ordinations while others accept them case by case. New York courts have gone both ways on whether Universal Life Church marriages are valid.
Call the county clerk’s office in the county where the ceremony will happen and confirm that your officiant’s credentials will be accepted. Five minutes on the phone is cheap insurance against discovering a problem after the wedding.
States Where You Can Marry Without an Officiant
A self-uniting (or self-solemnizing) marriage license lets the couple marry each other directly. No officiant participates, the couple signs the license themselves, and the state records the union. Three jurisdictions allow this without religious strings attached:
- Colorado. The most permissive. Any couple can self-solemnize with no witnesses, no special application beyond requesting the right license, and no restrictions.
- District of Columbia. Allows self-officiation, which technically designates one of the two parties as the officiant. Both still sign the license.
- Pennsylvania. Has offered self-uniting licenses for centuries, rooted in its Quaker history. Two witnesses must sign in place of an officiant. A 2007 federal court ruling confirmed that these licenses cannot be limited to religious applicants, so secular couples qualify.1Pennsylvania General Assembly. Pennsylvania Code Title 23 – Chapter 15 Returns of Marriages
Two more states allow it only under religious circumstances. Wisconsin permits marriage following “the customs, rules and regulations of any religious society, denomination or sect to which either of the parties may belong.”2Wisconsin State Legislature. Wisconsin Code 765.16 – Marriage Contract Secular humanism has been accepted as a qualifying affiliation, though the county clerk may ask for evidence of religious membership. Illinois similarly allows marriages solemnized according to the practices of a religious denomination, Indian Nation, or Native group without a traditional officiant, as long as any officiant required by those customs is in good standing.3FindLaw. Illinois Code 750 ILCS 5/209 – Solemnization and Registration
How a Self-Uniting Marriage Actually Works
Start at the county clerk or register of wills office and ask for a self-uniting marriage license by name. It is a different form than the standard license. Bring valid government-issued photo ID for both parties. If either of you was previously married, bring documentation that the marriage ended, whether a certified divorce decree or a death certificate.
License fees vary by county, generally $25 to over $100. Some counties discount the fee for couples who complete premarital counseling. Waiting periods between license issuance and ceremony also vary, though Colorado and Pennsylvania do not impose one for self-uniting licenses.
The Ceremony
No specific words are required. The legal core is that both parties declare their intention to marry each other. Write your own vows, include religious elements, or simply state that you take each other as spouses. Both parties then sign and date the license. Where witnesses are required, as in Pennsylvania, they sign too.
Returning the License
This is where people get into trouble. The signed license must be returned to the issuing office within a set deadline. In Pennsylvania, you have 10 days after the ceremony.1Pennsylvania General Assembly. Pennsylvania Code Title 23 – Chapter 15 Returns of Marriages In Colorado, the window is 63 days.4Mineral County Colorado. Marriage License Miss the Pennsylvania deadline and you may face a late fee and have no official public record of your marriage. One Pennsylvania county’s FAQ states flatly that failing to return the license within 10 days means “you are not legally married.”5Washington County Courts. Marriage Licenses Whether or not that overstates the legal consequence, the practical headaches of an unrecorded marriage are real. Set a calendar reminder.
Will Other States Recognize a Self-Uniting Marriage?
Generally, yes. The longstanding rule is that a marriage valid where it was celebrated is valid everywhere. Self-solemnize legally in Colorado and move to a state without a self-uniting provision, and you are still married. The Full Faith and Credit Clause of the Constitution supports this, though the Supreme Court has noted the clause is less rigid about how states apply each other’s laws than about how they treat court judgments.6Congress.gov. Overview of Full Faith and Credit Clause
For immigration, USCIS recognizes any marriage that was legally valid in the place where it was celebrated, including self-uniting marriages performed in states that authorize them.7U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. Policy Manual Volume 6 Part B Chapter 6 – Spouses The ceremony must comply with the requirements of the jurisdiction where it took place. A Colorado self-solemnized marriage, properly licensed and returned, meets that standard.
Self-Uniting Marriage Is Not Common Law Marriage
These get confused constantly, but they work in opposite directions. A self-uniting marriage happens before anything else: you apply for a license, hold a ceremony, sign the paperwork, and file it. It is intentional and documented from day one. A common law marriage is recognized after the fact, based on a couple’s behavior over time: cohabiting, presenting themselves publicly as married, and intending to be married. No license, no ceremony, no filing.
Only a handful of states still allow new common law marriages to form, and Colorado happens to be on both lists. If you live in Colorado and want the legal protections of marriage, the self-uniting license is far more reliable than relying on common law recognition, which can turn into a court fight if anyone contests it later. A signed, filed license settles the question before it arises.
Choosing Your Path
If the goal is saving money or designing your own ceremony, ordaining a friend online gives you both without the geographic limits of self-uniting marriage. A friend ordained online can officiate in most states, the ceremony can be whatever you want, and the paperwork works like any other wedding.
If you specifically want no third party involved in the marriage at all, your realistic options are Colorado, DC, or Pennsylvania. Colorado is the most straightforward: no witnesses, no special form, no restrictions. Pennsylvania requires two witnesses but is otherwise simple. DC allows self-officiation but technically designates one spouse as the officiant. Wisconsin and Illinois offer narrower paths tied to religious customs.
Whichever path you take, the marriage license is the document that makes everything legal. Request the right license from the right office, have the right people sign it, and return it on time. The ceremony can be as elaborate or as minimal as you want it to be. The state cares about the paperwork.