Filing a petition in family court is how you formally ask a judge to decide a family matter — divorce, custody, child support, adoption, guardianship, or protection from abuse. You fill out the petition that matches your issue, file it with the clerk of the correct court along with a filing fee, and then have the other party served with copies so the case can move forward. Getting the forms right and serving the other side properly are what separate a case that proceeds from one that stalls or gets dismissed.
Identify the Right Petition
Family courts handle many kinds of disputes, and each one has its own petition and its own set of forms. Grabbing the wrong one wastes time. The common types include:
- Petition for dissolution of marriage, which starts a divorce and covers property, spousal support, and related issues.
- Petition to establish a parental relationship (sometimes called a paternity or parentage action), used by unmarried parents to get custody and parenting-time orders.
- Petition for child support, asking the court to order financial contributions for a child’s care.
- Petition for a domestic violence restraining order, seeking immediate protection from abuse.
- Petition for adoption, which creates a legal parent-child relationship.
- Petition for guardianship, appointing a non-parent to care for a child.
Pick the right one before you start filling anything out. The forms differ, and so do the filing rules that follow.
Where to File
Filing in the wrong court is one of the most common early mistakes. Jurisdiction means the court has legal authority over your case; venue means you’ve filed in the right county. Getting either wrong can get your case dismissed or transferred.
For divorce, most states require you to file in the county where you or your spouse lives and to meet a residency requirement, typically between 30 days and a year of living in the state. Check your state’s rule before filing.
Custody cases are stricter. Under the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act, adopted by all 50 states and the District of Columbia, a court can make custody decisions only if the state qualifies as the child’s home state. That means the child lived there with a parent for at least six consecutive months immediately before you file. For a child under six months old, the home state is wherever the child has lived since birth.1U.S. Department of State. Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act – Sections 102 and 201
If you recently moved states with your child, think carefully about timing. Filing before the child has lived in the new state for six months usually means the old state still has jurisdiction. The exceptions — when no other state qualifies or when the home state declines jurisdiction — are narrow and fact-specific.
What to Gather Before You File
Before you start on the forms, pull together the information they’ll ask for. Every petition needs full legal names, dates of birth, and current addresses for you, the other party, and any children. Depending on the case, you’ll also need dates like when you married and when you separated.
Documents to have on hand:
- A certified copy of your marriage certificate, for divorce filings.
- Certified copies of children’s birth certificates, for any case involving custody, parentage, or child support.
- Copies of any existing court orders involving your family, including orders from other states.
- Recent pay stubs, the last two years of federal and state tax returns, and recent bank statements. Courts need this for support calculations and property division.
If custody is involved, you’ll almost certainly need to complete a declaration under the UCCJEA. It asks where the child has lived for the past five years, who the child has lived with, and whether any other custody proceedings are pending. Courts use this to confirm jurisdiction. Some places also require a civil case information sheet filed with the petition.
Filing With the Clerk
Once your forms are completed and signed, you file them with the clerk of court. Bring the original and at least two copies. The clerk keeps the original, stamps your copies, and assigns a case number you’ll use on every future document. Many courts accept electronic filing through their websites, and some allow filing by mail, though e-filing is usually faster.
Fees vary widely by jurisdiction and case type. Expect somewhere between roughly $100 and $400 for a divorce or custody petition. Child support petitions are often cheaper, and some courts charge no filing fee for them at all.
If you can’t afford the fee, request a fee waiver (sometimes called in forma pauperis status). The application asks about your income, expenses, assets, and whether you receive public benefits. You’ll generally qualify if your income is at or below the federal poverty guidelines or if paying the fee would prevent you from covering basic necessities like housing, food, and medical care. File the waiver application at the same time as your petition.
Serving the Other Party
After filing, you have to formally notify the other party through service of process. The case can’t move forward until the respondent has been served with a copy of the filed petition and a summons telling them the case exists and when they must respond.
You cannot serve the papers yourself. In virtually every jurisdiction, the person delivering the documents must be at least 18 and not a party to the case. Your options are typically a professional process server, a sheriff’s deputy, or any adult friend or family member who isn’t involved in the dispute. Professional process servers generally charge between $85 and $175 for standard local delivery, with higher fees for rush jobs or hard-to-find respondents. Sheriff’s offices also serve papers, usually for a lower fee.
Proof of Service
After the papers are delivered, the person who served them fills out a proof of service (also called an affidavit or certificate of service). It records the date, time, and location of service, identifies the person served, describes the documents delivered, and is signed by the server. You then file the completed proof with the court. Without it, the court has no evidence the respondent was notified, and your case will not proceed.
If the Respondent Can’t Be Found
Sometimes the other party has moved, is avoiding service, or genuinely cannot be located. When standard personal service fails, you can ask the court for permission to use an alternative method, most commonly service by publication. This involves publishing a notice in a local newspaper for a set number of consecutive weeks, typically three. Before a judge will approve it, you generally must show due diligence: documented efforts to find the person, including checking last known addresses, contacting relatives, and searching public records. Service by publication is a last resort, not a shortcut.
Financial Disclosures That Follow
In divorce and many support cases, both parties have to exchange detailed financial information shortly after the case begins. This is separate from the documents you gathered for the petition. It’s a formal disclosure process designed to give the court and both sides a complete picture of each person’s finances.
Specifics vary by state, but the core requirements are similar:
- A financial affidavit or declaration — a sworn statement listing income, monthly expenses, assets, and debts.
- Tax returns, usually the last two years, including W-2s, 1099s, and K-1 schedules.
- Pay stubs from the most recent two to three months.
- Recent statements for all bank, retirement, and brokerage accounts.
- Debt documentation: credit card statements, mortgage statements, loan documents.
- Property records: deeds, vehicle titles, insurance declarations.
You sign these documents under penalty of perjury. Consequences for hiding assets or lying about income range from fines and orders to pay the other side’s attorney’s fees up to contempt of court. In extreme cases, a judge can void a prenuptial agreement or reopen a finalized settlement for fraud. Be thorough and honest.
What Happens After Service
After the respondent is served, they have a limited window to file a response (also called an answer). The deadline is typically 20 to 30 days, though it varies by jurisdiction and case type. The response states which parts of the petition they agree or disagree with and what orders they want the court to make.
If the Respondent Doesn’t Respond
If the deadline passes with no response, you can ask the court to enter a default judgment. The court will schedule a hearing where you prove the papers were properly served. A judge then reviews your petition and proposed orders to confirm they’re reasonable and, in custody cases, consistent with the child’s best interests. The court can enter final, binding orders without the respondent’s input. Custody defaults get more scrutiny than a simple divorce default, and a respondent who missed the deadline can sometimes get a default set aside for excusable neglect, fraud, or a jurisdictional defect.
Temporary and Emergency Orders
You don’t always have to wait for the full case to play out before getting court orders. If you need immediate relief — temporary custody, child support while the case is pending, or protection from abuse — you can request temporary orders early in the process.
Emergency orders (sometimes called ex parte orders) are available when a child faces immediate harm, such as abuse, a credible abduction threat, or a parent’s substance abuse crisis. A judge can grant these without the other parent present, based on your sworn statement. A hearing is then scheduled within a short time, usually 10 to 21 days, so both sides can present evidence.
Non-emergency temporary orders cover the practical realities of life while the case is pending. A judge might set a temporary parenting schedule, order temporary child support, or establish ground rules about the family home and finances. These orders stay in effect until the court issues final orders or the parties reach an agreement.
Mediation and the First Hearing
Many jurisdictions require parents to attempt mediation before a judge will hear a contested custody or visitation dispute. A neutral third party helps you and the other parent try to agree on a parenting plan without a judge deciding for you. If there’s a history of domestic violence, substance abuse, or a significant power imbalance, many states let you opt out or will waive the requirement. Raise safety concerns with the court before mediation is scheduled.
Soon after the case begins, the court will typically schedule an initial hearing, often called a case management conference. This isn’t a trial. The judge uses it to understand the issues, set temporary orders if needed, refer the parties to mediation or other services, and establish a timeline for discovery, evaluations, and a possible trial date. Come prepared with a clear sense of what you’re asking for and any immediate concerns about the children or finances.
If You’re Filing Without a Lawyer
A large share of family court litigants represent themselves. Most courthouses have a self-help center staffed by court employees or attorneys who can help you identify the right forms, fill out paperwork, explain your options, and point you to local resources like legal aid organizations. These services are typically free and available regardless of income.
One caution: self-help center staff work for the court, not for you. They can guide you through the process, but they can’t give strategic legal advice or represent you, and what you tell them is not confidential. Both sides of a case can use the same self-help center. For complex disputes involving significant assets, contested custody, or domestic violence, consulting with a family law attorney, even for a single session, is worth the cost.