To be legally married in the United States, you need to do four things in order: confirm you meet your state’s eligibility rules, get a marriage license from a local government office (usually the county clerk), hold a ceremony performed by an authorized officiant, and make sure the signed license is filed so the state can issue your marriage certificate. Skip any one of these and you may walk away thinking you’re married when the government doesn’t agree. How long the whole thing takes ranges from a single afternoon to a few weeks, depending on where you live and whether your state imposes a waiting period.
Confirm You’re Eligible
Every state writes its own marriage rules, but the core requirements look similar across the country. Clear these before you go anywhere near a clerk’s office.
Age
In almost every state, 18 is the age at which you can marry on your own. Some states allow younger applicants with parental consent, a judge’s approval, or both, and the trend over the past decade has been to raise minimum ages and narrow the exceptions. If either of you is under 18, look up your state’s current rule rather than assuming a parent’s signature is enough.
Capacity and Consent
Both people must understand what marriage is and enter it freely. A marriage entered under duress, fraud, or without the mental capacity to consent is voidable, meaning a court can annul it as if it never happened.
No Existing Marriage
You can’t marry a new person while you’re still legally married to someone else. Bigamy is a crime in every state, ranging from a misdemeanor to a felony. If a prior marriage ended in divorce, you’ll need a certified copy of the final decree; if it ended in death, a death certificate.
Relationship Limits
All states prohibit marriage between close blood relatives such as parents and children or siblings. First-cousin marriage is where the rules diverge: roughly half the states ban it, and the rest allow it, sometimes with conditions.
Same-Sex and Interracial Marriage
Since the Supreme Court’s 2015 decision in Obergefell v. Hodges, every state must license and recognize marriages between two people of the same sex. The Respect for Marriage Act, signed into federal law in 2022, added a statutory backstop: no state may deny full faith and credit to a marriage from another state based on the sex, race, ethnicity, or national origin of the spouses.1Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 28 USC 1738C – Certain Acts, Records, and Proceedings and the Effect Thereof A marriage valid where it was performed is recognized nationwide.
Get a Marriage License
The license is the government’s permission slip. Without it, no ceremony (however meaningful) produces a legal marriage.
What to Bring
- Government-issued photo ID for both applicants: a driver’s license, state ID card, or current passport.
- Social Security numbers. Federal law requires states to record them on marriage license applications as part of the child support enforcement system, and most states let you swear under oath that you don’t have one if that’s true.2Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 42 USC 666 – Requirement of Statutorily Prescribed Procedures
- Proof any prior marriage ended: a certified divorce decree or death certificate. Photocopies and notarized copies are usually rejected.
- Biographical basics: full legal names, dates of birth, and parents’ names. Some applications also ask for birthplaces and addresses.
Many clerks post the application online. Filling it out ahead of time catches typos before they matter, because a name that doesn’t match your ID can hold up the license or cause problems later when you try to use the certificate for a name change.
Where and How to Apply
In most states, both applicants have to appear together, in person, at the county clerk’s or recorder’s office. Some jurisdictions accept online submissions but still require an in-person identity check before issuing the license. At the appointment, the clerk reviews your documents, may put you under oath, and collects a fee.
Fees generally run between $25 and $115. Some areas discount the fee if you complete a state-approved premarital education course. Payment methods vary: cash and money orders in some offices, cards (sometimes with a surcharge) in others. Call ahead or check the website so you don’t get turned away at the counter.
Confidential Marriage Licenses
A small number of states offer a confidential license as an alternative to the standard public one. The record isn’t accessible to the general public. Requirements vary, but typically both parties must be at least 18 and already living together, and witnesses often aren’t required. If privacy matters, ask your clerk whether this option exists locally.
Know Your Waiting Period and Expiration Date
You may have heard there’s always a waiting period between getting the license and using it. That’s not true. Most states impose none. Only about nine currently do, with waits ranging from 24 hours to three business days, and several of those states let a judge waive the wait for good cause.
Every state does put an expiration date on the license. If you don’t hold your ceremony before it lapses, the license is void and you’ll have to reapply and pay again. Common validity windows are 30, 60, and 90 days; a few states give you six months or more. Applying too early is a surprisingly common and expensive mistake for couples still nailing down a date.
Hold the Ceremony
A license authorizes a marriage; it doesn’t create one. You still need a ceremony, even a short and informal one, and the paperwork has to be signed.
Who Can Officiate
Authorized officiants generally include ordained clergy, judges (active or retired), magistrates, justices of the peace, and in some states certain elected officials or members of Congress. Many states also accept ministers ordained online through organizations like the Universal Life Church or American Marriage Ministries, though a few jurisdictions have challenged the validity of online ordinations. If a friend plans to officiate on an online ordination, confirm with the clerk that your county will accept it.
Witnesses
Most states require one or two adult witnesses to observe the ceremony and sign the license. No special qualifications beyond being an adult who can confirm the ceremony happened. A handful of states require no witnesses. Your license or the clerk’s office will tell you how many you need.
Self-Uniting Ceremonies
A handful of states allow self-uniting (or self-solemnizing) marriages, in which the couple marries themselves with no officiant present. The tradition has Quaker roots but is now available to anyone in the states that permit it. The couple and their witnesses sign the license, and that’s legally sufficient. Verify your state allows it before relying on this route.
Proxy Marriages
A proxy marriage lets one or both parties be absent, with a stand-in appearing on their behalf. Only a few states permit this, and most limit it to active-duty military members stationed overseas. Montana allows double-proxy marriages, where neither spouse needs to be physically present, so long as at least one party is an active-duty service member or a Montana resident.
File the License and Get Your Certificate
After the ceremony, the signed license has to make its way back to the clerk’s office that issued it. In most states the officiant is responsible for returning it within a set window, typically 10 to 30 days. Some states put that responsibility on the couple. Ask before you leave the ceremony so it’s clear who’s doing it.
Once the clerk records the license, the state issues the marriage certificate. The license authorized the wedding; the certificate proves it happened. Those are different documents, and the certificate is the one you’ll actually use. Keep at least one certified copy in a safe place, and order extras: you’ll need them for name changes, insurance updates, tax filings, and various other transitions. Certified copies generally run $10 to $30 each.
If the license never gets filed, you can end up in the awkward position of having had a ceremony the government has no record of. Fixing that usually takes a court order to establish the marriage retroactively, which is slow and more expensive than filing on time.
What About Common Law Marriage
Not every legal marriage starts with a license and ceremony, but the exception is narrow. A small number of states still recognize new common law marriages, in which a couple becomes legally married by living together, intending to be married, and holding themselves out as spouses. The states that currently allow it are Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, Texas, and Utah, plus the District of Columbia.3National Conference of State Legislatures. Common Law Marriage by State A few others recognize common law marriages formed before a cutoff date but no longer allow new ones.
Proving one is harder than it sounds. Courts look at whether the couple shared finances, used the same last name, filed joint tax returns, referred to each other as spouses, and generally presented as married. Long cohabitation alone doesn’t create a common law marriage even in states that recognize the concept. If you’re counting on marital rights for inheritance, insurance, or Social Security, a formal license is far more reliable.
After the Wedding: Names and Rights
Marriage doesn’t automatically change your legal name, and the rights it does activate only work once the marriage is on the record.
Updating Your Name
If you’re changing your last name, hyphenating, or creating a new surname, start with Social Security, because most other agencies verify your name against Social Security records. Submit Form SS-5 with your certified marriage certificate and a current photo ID. The Social Security Administration requires originals or copies certified by the issuing agency; photocopies and notarized copies aren’t accepted.4Social Security Administration. Learn What Documents You Will Need to Get a Social Security Card The replacement card is free and typically arrives in two to four weeks.
For your passport, the form and fee depend on how recently it was issued and when the name change happened; the State Department publishes the current rules and forms.5U.S. Department of State. Change or Correct a Passport After Social Security and your passport, work through the rest: driver’s license or state ID at the DMV, bank accounts, employer records, insurance policies, voter registration, and any professional licenses. Nearly all of them will want to see either the certified certificate or your updated Social Security card, so getting the government IDs done first makes everything else easier.
Rights That Activate at Marriage
Married couples can file federal income taxes jointly, which often (though not always) reduces the overall bill; couples with similar high incomes sometimes pay more filing jointly than they would as two singles, so running the numbers both ways in your first year is worth the time.6Internal Revenue Service. IRS Releases Tax Inflation Adjustments for Tax Year 2026, Including Amendments from the One, Big, Beautiful Bill
Marriage also creates automatic inheritance protections. In most states, a surviving spouse is entitled to an elective share of the deceased spouse’s estate regardless of what the will says, and community property states split marital assets on their own rules. A surviving spouse may qualify for Social Security survivor benefits based on the deceased spouse’s work record; generally, the marriage must have lasted at least nine months, with exceptions for accidental death and military service.7Social Security Administration. Survivors Benefits for Same-Sex Partners and Spouses A surviving spouse who hasn’t remarried before age 60 (or 50 if disabled) can collect.
Beyond money, spouses gain hospital visitation and medical decision-making authority if a partner becomes incapacitated, can add each other to employer-sponsored health insurance, are protected in many court proceedings from being compelled to testify against each other, and can transfer unlimited assets between themselves without triggering gift tax. These rights turn on the moment the marriage is legally recorded, which is the last reason to make sure the license actually gets filed.