To fill out and file a stay away order, you choose the form packet that matches your relationship to the person you need protection from, write a dated, specific account of what happened, submit the paperwork to the courthouse clerk, arrange for the respondent to be formally served, and appear at the hearing where a judge decides whether to issue a longer-term order. The document goes by different names in different places — protective order, restraining order, order of protection, stay away order — but the mechanics are the same: a signed court order that creates enforceable distance between you and someone threatening your safety.
Pick the Form That Matches Your Relationship
Courts sort these orders by who the respondent is to you. Using the wrong packet is one of the fastest ways to have paperwork sent back.
- Domestic violence forms cover a current or former spouse, someone you dated, a co-parent, a registered domestic partner, or a close family member such as a parent, sibling, child, or grandparent. This is usually the broadest category.
- Civil harassment forms cover people you were never in a romantic or close family relationship with — a neighbor, coworker, acquaintance, or a more distant relative like an aunt, uncle, or cousin.
- Elder or dependent adult abuse forms apply when the person needing protection is 65 or older, or is a dependent adult facing abuse or neglect.
- Workplace violence forms are filed by an employer to protect an employee from threats connected to the workplace.
Each category has its own packet. In California, domestic violence uses Form DV-100 and civil harassment uses Form CH-100; other states use their own numbering but the categories track. If you are not sure which fits, the courthouse clerk’s office or self-help center can point you to the right one.
Where to Get the Forms
The clerk’s office at your local courthouse is the most reliable source. Walk in during business hours and ask for the full packet for your situation. The clerk will hand you every form in the set, including the supplemental forms for law enforcement databases and proof of service.
Most state judicial branch websites also publish the forms as downloads, often with step-by-step instruction sheets. Courthouse self-help centers can answer procedural questions about which blanks go where and which forms are missing, though staff cannot give legal advice.
If the Courthouse Is Closed and You Are in Danger
Call local law enforcement. An officer can reach an on-call judge or magistrate who has authority to issue an emergency protective order by phone. These emergency orders are short — usually just until the next business day when you can file a full petition. They bridge the gap; they do not replace filing.
Gather Your Information and Evidence First
Before you start writing, collect what the form will ask for: your full legal name, address, and contact information, plus the respondent’s full name, physical description, home address, and workplace address if you know it. Accurate identifying details matter because law enforcement uses them to serve the respondent and, later, to enforce the order.
Supporting evidence is not required to get a temporary order — courts routinely issue them based on the petitioner’s testimony alone — but it strengthens your case at the full hearing. Useful material includes:
- Police report numbers and copies for any incidents you have reported.
- Medical records or photos documenting injuries or treatment.
- Screenshots or printouts of threatening texts, voicemails, emails, or social media messages.
- Names and contact details for witnesses. Live testimony at the hearing carries more weight than written statements.
Fill In the Protections You Are Asking For
This section is where you check boxes or write in the specific restrictions you want the judge to impose. Common requests include ordering the respondent to stay a specific distance from your home, workplace, school, and vehicle; prohibiting all contact by phone, text, email, or through third parties; and granting temporary custody of children or exclusive use of a shared residence.
Be specific about locations and distances. Vague requests can lead to a narrower order than you actually need. If you believe the respondent has access to firearms, say so — the order can include specific surrender provisions, and many states have their own firearm surrender laws that go beyond federal minimums.
Write the Statement of Facts
This part of the form — sometimes called the declaration or “describe abuse” section — matters most. It is your chance to tell the judge, in your own words, what happened and why you need protection.
Start with the most recent incident, not the oldest. Judges want to know what is happening now, not a full relationship history. For each incident, include the date (or your best estimate), what the respondent said and did, where it happened, and how it affected you. If you do not remember an exact date, an approximation like “around Thanksgiving 2025” is far better than no date at all.
Stick to concrete actions and specific words. “He threatened to hurt me” is weaker than “On March 3, 2026, he said he would break my arm if I called the police again.” Judges decide on behavior, not characterizations. After the most recent event, describe prior incidents that show a pattern, and mention the worst episode even if it was not the most recent.
One practical caution: do not attach documents containing your Social Security number or other sensitive identifiers. Most court filings become part of the public record, and anyone can request to view them at the courthouse.
File the Paperwork With the Clerk
Bring the original and at least two copies to the courthouse clerk’s window during business hours. Some courts accept electronic filing for protective order cases; check your court’s website. The clerk reviews your forms for completeness and stamps them with the filing date.
Filing fees vary. Domestic violence protective orders are free to file in a large majority of states, with the fee waived automatically regardless of income. Civil harassment orders often carry a filing fee, and the amount ranges widely by jurisdiction. If you cannot afford the fee, most courts offer a fee waiver form that asks you to disclose income and expenses; the court reviews it and either grants the waiver or requests more information.
After filing, a judge reviews the petition — often the same day — to decide whether to issue a temporary order. If the judge finds enough evidence that you are in danger, you receive a signed temporary order that takes effect immediately. The court sets a hearing date, typically within a few weeks, and the temporary order stays in effect until then.
Have the Respondent Served
The temporary order and hearing notice must be formally delivered to the respondent before the hearing can go forward. You cannot do this yourself. Service must be handled by someone who is at least 18 and is not a party to the case: a county sheriff, a professional process server, or any other qualifying adult.
The server personally hands the respondent copies of the filed petition, the temporary order (if one was issued), a blank response form, and the hearing notice. The server then fills out a proof of service form documenting the date, time, and location of delivery and signs it under penalty of perjury. You file the completed proof of service with the court before the hearing date.
If the respondent has not been served, the judge will typically postpone the hearing rather than proceed, so do not leave this to the last minute. Sheriff’s departments handle service in protective order cases, often at no charge for domestic violence matters. Private process servers typically charge $60 to $100 per address.
What to Expect at the Hearing
The full hearing is where the judge decides whether to grant a longer-term order. The respondent will be present and has the right to testify, present evidence, and call witnesses. You need to prove your case by a preponderance of the evidence, meaning the judge must find it more likely than not that the abuse or harassment happened and that continued protection is warranted.
Bring everything: your evidence, your witnesses, and organized notes about what happened. In-person witnesses carry more weight than written statements. The judge hears both sides, asks questions, and often decides the same day. If the order is granted, it becomes a final (sometimes called permanent) protective order with a set duration, commonly one to five years depending on jurisdiction and severity. Some states allow indefinite orders in extreme circumstances.
If the respondent does not show up after being properly served, the judge will typically grant the order by default. If you fail to appear, the temporary order usually expires and the case is dismissed.
After the Order Is Signed
A protective order is enforceable by law enforcement the moment the respondent is served. If the respondent violates any term — showing up at your home, calling you, coming within the restricted distance — call 911. The violation is itself a crime, separate from whatever underlying behavior led to the order. In most states a first-time violation is a misdemeanor, carrying fines, jail time, or both; felony charges are generally reserved for repeat violations or aggravated circumstances like physical injury or use of a weapon.1Office for Victims of Crime. Enforcement of Protective Orders, Legal Series Bulletin #4
A qualifying final protective order also triggers a federal ban on firearm possession under 18 U.S.C. § 922(g)(8). The respondent cannot buy, receive, ship, or possess firearms or ammunition for the duration of the order, and this applies even if the order itself says nothing about guns. Temporary ex parte orders issued before the respondent has a chance to appear generally do not trigger the federal ban.2Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 922 – Unlawful Acts
If you move, the order does not expire at the state line. Under 18 U.S.C. § 2265, every state, territory, and tribal jurisdiction must enforce a valid protection order from another state as if it were their own.3Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 2265 – Full Faith and Credit Given to Protection Orders Registering a certified copy with local law enforcement in your new location is not required for enforcement but speeds up response because officers can verify it in the local database immediately.
Final orders do not last forever. When yours nears expiration and you still feel unsafe, file for renewal before the expiration date; waiting until after usually means starting over. Most courts let you file a few months out so a hearing can be held while the existing order remains in force. Either party can also file a motion to modify terms, but until a judge signs off, the original order stays fully in effect.