To fill out a funeral planning declaration, work through the form in order: your identifying information, the person you want to carry out your wishes (plus a backup), how you want your remains handled, the service you want, and any prepaid arrangements already in place. Then sign it the way your state’s statute requires, because a declaration executed with the wrong formalities carries no more weight than an unsigned note.
The form itself is straightforward. Getting it right is a matter of being specific enough that your designee isn’t guessing, and executing it in a way that holds up when a funeral home asks for proof of authority.
Filling In Each Section
Your Information and Your Representative
Start with your full legal name, date of birth, and address. Then name your primary designee: the person who will carry out your wishes. Include their full name, address, and phone number.
Most forms also have a line for a successor designee, someone who steps in if your first choice is unable or unwilling to serve. Naming a backup matters more than people expect. If your primary designee has moved out of state, developed health problems, or simply can’t be reached, the successor keeps your instructions from falling to the default legal hierarchy of next-of-kin.
Disposition of Remains
This is the most consequential section. You’ll typically choose among burial, cremation, entombment, or whole-body donation.
If you choose burial or entombment, name the cemetery or mausoleum. If you choose cremation, specify what should happen to the ashes: interment in a cemetery niche, scattering at a particular location, or keeping them in an urn. Some forms let you leave the specifics to your designee’s judgment, which is reasonable if you trust their instincts and don’t have strong preferences about the details.
One practical note on cremation. Many states require a separate cremation authorization form signed by the legal next-of-kin or authorized agent before a crematory will proceed. Your declaration establishes your wishes and gives your designee the authority to sign that authorization, but the crematory may still require the additional paperwork. Flag this for your designee in advance.
Funeral Services and Ceremonies
You can name a preferred funeral home, describe the type of service you want (traditional viewing, memorial service, graveside-only, or no service at all), and include preferences for readings, music, or clothing. Some forms also have a line for a grave memorial or marker. The level of detail is up to you. Some people specify hymns and pallbearers; others write a single sentence giving their designee full discretion over the ceremony.
Financial Arrangements
If you’ve prepaid for funeral services through a preneed contract with a funeral home, reference it here. Include the funeral home’s name and any contract number. If a specific life insurance policy or bank account is earmarked for funeral costs, note that information so your representative doesn’t have to dig through files or wait for probate.
A preneed contract and a funeral planning declaration do different work. The contract locks in a price and obligates a specific provider to deliver services. The declaration records your wishes and grants your designee legal authority. Having both is ideal, but a declaration alone still carries legal weight even without prepayment.
Signing the Declaration So It’s Valid
Every state that recognizes these documents requires, at minimum, that the declaration be voluntary, in writing, signed by the declarant (or by someone in the declarant’s presence and at the declarant’s direction), and dated. Where states diverge is on witnessing and notarization.
The most common requirement is two witnesses who are at least eighteen years old and who sign the document in the presence of both you and each other. Some states require notarization instead of or in addition to witnesses. A few allow either method. Check your state’s specific statute before signing. Using the wrong formality can invalidate the entire document.
Who Cannot Serve as a Witness
Witness disqualifications are stricter than most people realize. Across the states that spell out restrictions, the following people are generally barred from witnessing your declaration:
- Your designated representative or successor. The person you’re empowering to carry out the declaration cannot also validate it.
- Close family members. Parents, spouses, children, and sometimes anyone related by blood, marriage, or adoption.
- Estate beneficiaries. Anyone entitled to part of your estate, whether under a will or through intestacy, is disqualified in most states.
The safest approach is to use witnesses who are unrelated to you, have no financial interest in your estate, and are not named anywhere in the document. A neighbor, coworker, or friend typically works fine.
Picking a Designee Who Can Actually Act
Your designee is the person who walks into the funeral home, presents the declaration, and signs contracts on your behalf. Pick someone you trust to follow your instructions, but also someone who can handle logistical pressure during an emotional time. Proximity matters too. A designee who lives across the country may not be able to act within the tight window that funeral arrangements demand.
Some states prohibit your designee from being a funeral director or cemetery employee unless that person is related to you by birth, marriage, or adoption. This prevents conflicts of interest where the person directing your arrangements is also the one profiting from them. If you want a specific funeral professional involved, name them as the preferred provider in the body of the form rather than as your designee.
If your designee fails to act after your death, most states give them a limited window, often around five days after being notified, before authority passes to the successor designee or the statutory next-of-kin. That timeline makes it critical to name someone who is reachable and willing to act promptly.
Where to Keep the Form and Who Gets Copies
A properly signed declaration that nobody can find is the same as no declaration at all. Keep the original somewhere both secure and immediately accessible: a home filing cabinet, a fireproof document box, or a desk drawer your designee knows about.
A bank safe deposit box is a poor choice. Banks routinely freeze access to safe deposit boxes once they learn of an account holder’s death, and getting a court order to open one takes far longer than the hours within which funeral decisions need to be made.
Give your primary designee either the original or a high-quality copy, and tell them where you’ve stored the other. Distribute additional copies to your successor designee, your preferred funeral home, and your estate planning attorney if you have one. When a designee presents the declaration to a funeral director, it serves as proof of authority to proceed with arrangements, including irreversible ones like cremation. Funeral homes will often refuse to act without that proof.
Keep a list of everyone who holds a copy, along with their current contact information. If you later revoke or amend the declaration, you’ll need to notify every person on that list.
Keeping It Consistent With Your Other Documents
People sometimes write funeral wishes in a will, a healthcare power of attorney, and a standalone declaration without thinking about what happens when those documents disagree. The general rule in most states is that a funeral planning declaration takes priority over conflicting instructions in a will or power of attorney. The practical reason reinforces the legal one: wills are often not read until days or weeks after death, by which point the burial or cremation has already happened.
Some states prohibit you from including the declaration inside a will or power of attorney. The declaration must be a separate, freestanding document. Others allow it to be incorporated into a healthcare directive. Because the rules differ, keep the funeral planning declaration as its own document and make sure it doesn’t contradict your will. If your will says “bury me in Oakwood Cemetery” but your declaration says “cremate me,” the declaration will likely control, but the contradiction invites exactly the kind of family dispute you’re trying to avoid.
If you’ve signed a preneed funeral contract with a specific provider, that contract is a binding commercial agreement and may take priority over both the declaration and the will for the services it covers. Align them. If your preneed contract is with one funeral home but your declaration names a different one, your designee walks into a legal mess.
If You’re Active-Duty Military
Active-duty service members record disposition preferences on DD Form 93 (Record of Emergency Data), which the Department of Defense uses to determine who controls the handling of remains. Some states do not recognize DD Form 93 as a valid disposition directive under their own laws, which can trigger disputes between the military’s designated person and the state’s statutory next-of-kin hierarchy.1Davis-Monthan Air Force Base. Will Your Final Wishes Be Honored? The simplest fix is to execute a state-law funeral planning declaration that mirrors the instructions on your DD Form 93, so your wishes are covered under both federal and state frameworks.
Changing or Revoking the Declaration
Circumstances change. You might move, fall out with your designee, switch from burial to cremation, or simply change your mind about the ceremony. You can revoke a funeral planning declaration at any time while you’re still of sound mind.
The most common methods are writing a new declaration that expressly revokes the old one, or physically destroying the original by tearing, burning, or shredding it with the clear intent to revoke. Some states also accept a written revocation statement that doesn’t replace the declaration with a new one.
When you revoke or replace a declaration, retrieve or destroy every distributed copy. If your former designee, your old funeral home, and your attorney each have a copy of the superseded version, one of them may present it in good faith after your death, and the resulting conflict could delay arrangements or end up in court. The cleanest practice is to execute a new declaration, distribute it to everyone on your list, and collect the old copies at the same time.