The most direct way to get an abuser out of your house is a domestic violence protective order, which you can file for at your local courthouse without a lawyer and without a filing fee. A judge can issue a temporary order the same day that bars the abuser from the residence, orders them to have no contact with you, and gives you temporary custody of any children. A full order after a hearing typically lasts one to two years, and in some states up to five years or permanently. The abuser’s name on the lease or deed does not stop a court from excluding them, at least temporarily, when safety requires it.
Plan Your Safety Before You File
The window when an abuser is being served with court papers or realizes you are taking legal action is often the most dangerous point in the relationship. Do the safety work before you file, not after.
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233, text “START” to 88788, or use the live chat at thehotline.org. Advocates are available 24 hours a day, will keep the call confidential, and can connect you with local shelters, legal aid, and counseling.1National Domestic Violence Hotline. Domestic Violence Support
A workable safety plan usually includes:
- A specific place you can go quickly if the abuser turns violent after being served
- Copies of IDs, financial records, medical records, and any evidence of abuse, kept somewhere outside the home
- A packed bag ready to grab
- At least one trusted person who knows what you are doing and when
- Updated pickup authorizations at your children’s school or daycare
Assume your phone may be monitored. If the abuser has ever had access to it, or if you share cloud accounts, use a different device to research your options and talk to advocates. Change passwords on email, banking, and social media from a device the abuser has never touched.
Call the Police If You Are in Danger Now
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. Officers responding to domestic violence calls are trained to separate the parties, interview witnesses, and document injuries and property damage, and that documentation becomes evidence for everything that follows. In roughly half of all states, officers are required by law to arrest the abuser when they find probable cause that a domestic violence crime occurred. Most departments elsewhere treat arrest as the preferred response.
Ask the responding officer about an emergency protective order. In many states, the officer at the scene or an on-call judge can issue one immediately, by phone if necessary. Emergency orders typically last a few days, long enough to get to the courthouse and file for a longer-term order. The police report from that night is one of the strongest pieces of evidence you can bring to your protective order hearing.
File for a Protective Order
A protective order (called a restraining order or order of protection in some states) is a court order that can bar the abuser from your home, prohibit contact with you and your children, and set temporary custody. You do not need a lawyer to file, and there is no filing fee. Federal law requires every state receiving VAWA grant funding to waive fees for filing, issuing, registering, and serving domestic violence protective orders.
You file a petition at your local courthouse, usually in family court or the domestic relations division. The petition describes the abuse and lists the protections you need. A judge typically reviews it the same day or the next business day. If the judge finds enough evidence of danger, you get a temporary ex parte order right away, without the abuser present. That temporary order usually lasts 10 to 21 days, until the court can hold a full hearing where both sides present evidence.
Bring everything to the full hearing: police reports, medical records, photographs of injuries, text messages, voicemails, and any witnesses. The judge decides whether to issue a longer-term order, commonly one to two years, though some states allow up to five years or a permanent order when the abuse is severe. Most states also let you request an extension before an order expires.
What to Ask the Order to Include
Judges can only grant what you request, so be specific in the petition. Beyond ordering the abuser to leave and stay away from your home, you can ask the court to:
- Grant you temporary sole physical and legal custody of your children and set conditions on any visitation
- Order the abuser to surrender firearms and ammunition
- Award you temporary use of a shared vehicle or other property
- Require the abuser to keep paying rent, mortgage, or other shared expenses
- Prohibit contact by phone, text, email, social media, or through third parties
- Include your household pets in the order’s protections
- Authorize you to change the locks
A domestic violence advocate or legal aid attorney at the courthouse can help you figure out what to include. Many courthouses have advocates on-site specifically for this.
Firearms in the Home
Federal law prohibits anyone subject to a qualifying domestic violence protective order from possessing firearms or ammunition. The order must have been issued after a hearing the abuser had notice of, must restrain the abuser from threatening or harassing you or your children, and must either include a finding that the abuser is a credible threat or explicitly prohibit the use of physical force.2Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 US Code 922 – Unlawful Acts Once a full order is in place, the abuser must surrender any firearms. Law enforcement can notify the abuser of the requirement and take temporary custody of the weapons, or obtain a search warrant to seize them in more dangerous cases.3Department of Justice Archives. Restrictions on the Possession of Firearms by Individuals Convicted
Tell the responding officer and the judge if firearms are in the home. It changes the urgency of enforcement.
Children and Temporary Custody
If you share children with the abuser, the protective order hearing is where temporary custody gets decided. Courts in every state consider domestic violence in determining what serves a child’s best interests. You can request sole physical and legal custody in your petition, and a judge can order it that same day on a temporary basis.
Judges can deny the abuser any contact with the children, require professionally supervised visitation, or set strict conditions on when and where visits occur. A history of violence against you, even if the children were never directly harmed, is powerful evidence that unsupervised visitation is unsafe. Temporary custody orders tend to shape permanent ones, because courts value stability for children, so the protective order hearing is one of the most consequential moments in the whole process.
Pets
Over 40 states now allow courts to include pets in domestic violence protective orders. Even where there is no specific pet protection statute, most protective order forms include an “other relief” section where you can ask for temporary custody of household animals and a prohibition on the abuser harming or taking them. If the abuser has already taken or hidden a pet, tell the court; judges have broad discretion to order the animal returned.
When the Abuser Is on the Lease or Deed
Whose name is on the paperwork does not decide who has to leave. Courts in every state have the authority to exclude a dangerous person from a shared residence regardless of ownership, at least temporarily, when safety requires it. Long-term ownership questions get sorted out later through divorce, partition, or other civil proceedings. Immediate safety comes first.
If You Rent
If the abuser is not on the lease, a protective order barring them from the residence is usually enough, and your landlord can treat the abuser as an unauthorized occupant. If the abuser is on the lease, the protective order still overrides the lease and excludes them from the property.
In federally subsidized housing (public housing, Section 8 vouchers, and dozens of other federal programs), VAWA gives you the right to request a lease bifurcation, which removes the abuser from the lease while keeping your tenancy intact.4U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD). Violence Against Women Act (VAWA)5Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 34 USC Chapter 121 Subchapter III – Violence Against Women Act Housing Protections A growing number of states also let domestic violence survivors terminate a lease early without penalty by providing a copy of a protective order or police report.
Changing the Locks
Once a protective order excludes the abuser from your home, change the locks. At least a dozen states have laws letting domestic violence survivors request lock changes from their landlord, and several of those states allow you to change the locks yourself if the landlord does not act within 24 to 48 hours. Even without a state-specific statute, ask the court to include lock-change authorization in the order itself, and keep the landlord informed.
If You Co-Own the Home
A protective order can exclude a co-owner from the property temporarily. The abuser keeps their ownership interest, but they cannot live there while the order is in effect. Sorting out who ultimately keeps the home usually happens through divorce proceedings or a partition action. A family law attorney can help you navigate how the protective order interacts with property rights.
If a Protective Order Isn’t Available
If your situation doesn’t qualify for a domestic violence protective order, or if the abuser has ownership rights and you need a broader remedy, you can petition for a separate court-ordered removal through family or civil court. At a removal hearing, both parties present evidence, and the court weighs the severity of the abuse, any existing protective orders, and the risk to you and your children. If the judge orders removal, law enforcement can enforce it physically if the abuser refuses to go. Judges can also issue temporary removal orders in urgent situations before a full hearing.
Enforce the Order After the Abuser Leaves
A protective order is only as useful as its enforcement. Keep a certified copy with you at all times. Store additional copies at home, at work, and with your children’s school. File a copy with your local police department so it is on record if you need to call.
If the abuser violates the order in any way, call 911. Do not confront them, and do not wait to see whether the violation escalates. Every violation is a separate criminal offense, typically a misdemeanor, with repeated violations rising to a felony in many states. Courts can also hold the abuser in civil contempt, which carries its own fines and jail time.
Document every violation, including ones that look minor. A text that breaks a no-contact provision, a drive-by of your home, a message relayed through a mutual friend: each one counts. Save screenshots, note dates and times, and report each incident. This record strengthens any request to extend the order, tighten custody, or bring criminal charges.
If Staying in the Home Isn’t Realistic
Sometimes waiting out the court process at home isn’t safe, even with an emergency order. Domestic violence shelters provide confidential housing along with case management, legal advocacy, and support services, and the National Domestic Violence Hotline can connect you with shelters in your area.1National Domestic Violence Hotline. Domestic Violence Support Many communities also fund transitional housing and emergency hotel vouchers through VAWA and state programs.
If you live in federally subsidized housing, VAWA gives you the right to request an emergency transfer, and a Section 8 Housing Choice Voucher can move with you.4U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD). Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) You cannot be denied housing or evicted because you are a domestic violence survivor, and the Fair Housing Act adds further protection against discrimination based on your status as a victim.