To legally get someone to leave you alone, you generally escalate through a set of tools that grow in force: documenting the behavior, sending a written cease-and-desist demand, issuing a trespass warning, obtaining a protection order, filing a police report, and in serious cases pursuing criminal charges or a civil lawsuit. Which step fits depends on how dangerous the person is, your relationship to them, and whether the problem is showing up in person, contacting you electronically, or both. Most people get the best results starting at the bottom of that ladder and moving up only if the behavior continues.
Document Every Incident First
Before any legal step, build a paper trail. Every option below is stronger when you can point to specific, dated evidence. Without it, you’re asking a judge or officer to take your word for it.
Keep a running log of each incident: date, time, location, what happened, and how it affected you. Save every text, email, voicemail, and social media message. Take screenshots rather than trusting the platform to preserve them, because senders can delete. If the person appears at your home or workplace, write down what they said, how long they stayed, and who else saw it. Ask witnesses to write down what they observed while it’s fresh.
Organize the evidence chronologically. A clear timeline showing a repeated pattern is far more persuasive than a disorganized stack of screenshots, and it becomes the backbone of any protection order petition or criminal complaint you file later.
Send a Cease-and-Desist Letter
A cease-and-desist letter is a formal written demand telling someone to stop specific behavior. It isn’t a court order and carries no penalty on its own, but it does two useful things. It puts the person on clear notice that their contact is unwanted, and it creates a dated record proving they were told to stop. If the behavior continues after they receive it, that pattern strengthens every legal step that follows.
You don’t need a lawyer to send one. A letter you write yourself has the same legal standing as one from an attorney, though a letter on law firm letterhead tends to be taken more seriously by someone inclined to dismiss you. Keep the tone firm and factual whichever route you take. Describe the specific behavior you want stopped, state clearly that you want no further contact, and note that you’re prepared to pursue legal remedies if it continues. Send it by certified mail with return receipt so you have proof of delivery. Avoid threats, insults, or emotional language that could undermine your credibility if the letter ends up in front of a judge.
Use a Trespass Warning for Someone Showing Up in Person
If the problem is someone repeatedly appearing at your home, business, or other property you control, a trespass warning is often the fastest tool available. You or the police can formally warn the person that they aren’t welcome. Once that warning is documented, any return visit is criminal trespass, and responding officers can arrest on the spot.
The process varies by location. In many areas, you can call police and ask them to issue a written trespass warning while the person is on your property. Some jurisdictions also let property owners deliver the warning themselves, though having law enforcement do it creates a stronger official record. After the warning is on file, the person has no legal right to return, and officers don’t need to walk you through a lengthy court process before making an arrest.
Trespass warnings have one clear limit: they only cover the property named in them. They don’t stop phone calls, emails, or contact at other locations. For that, you’ll need a protection order.
Get a Protection Order
A protection order is a court directive that legally prohibits someone from contacting you, coming near you, or engaging in other specified conduct. Violating one is a criminal offense, which gives the order real teeth. Courts can tailor the terms, including a required distance from your home and workplace, a bar on all direct and indirect communication, and orders to move out of a shared residence.
Which Type Applies to Your Situation
Most states offer several categories, and which one you qualify for depends on your relationship to the person:
- Domestic violence protection orders cover a current or former spouse, dating partner, co-parent, or close relative.
- Civil harassment orders cover someone you were never intimate with and aren’t closely related to, such as a neighbor, coworker, acquaintance, or stranger.
- Elder or dependent adult abuse orders protect people over 65 and dependent adults.
- Workplace violence orders are filed by an employer for an employee who has been threatened or harmed. In most states, only the employer can petition.
Picking the wrong category is a common early mistake that delays your case. Most courthouses have a self-help center or clerk’s office that can point you to the correct form.
How the Process Works
You file a petition at your local courthouse describing the behavior and why you need protection. Bring your documentation: the incident log, screenshots, saved messages, and any witness statements. A judge usually reviews the petition the same day.
If the judge finds enough evidence of immediate danger or harassment, they can issue a temporary restraining order right away, sometimes without notifying the other person first. Under federal court rules, a temporary order typically lasts about 14 days, though state timelines vary and extensions are common.1Cornell Law Institute. Temporary Restraining Order During that window, the court schedules a hearing where both sides present evidence. If the judge finds the order warranted after that hearing, a longer-term order is issued, often one to five years depending on the jurisdiction, with renewal available.
You cannot serve the papers yourself. Someone not involved in the case, at least 18 years old, must deliver them. That can be a sheriff’s deputy, a professional process server, or another qualified adult. If the person is evading service, you can ask the court to approve alternative methods like substituted service.
Fee Waivers for Victims
If you’re seeking a protection order because of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, or stalking, federal law prohibits any state or local government from charging you for it. That covers the filing fee, service, registration if you move to another jurisdiction, modifications, extensions, and dismissal. The protection applies nationwide because every state receives federal funding conditioned on that certification.2Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 34 USC 10450 – Costs for Criminal Charges and Protection Orders
If the Order Is Violated
Violating a protection order is a criminal offense in every state. If the person contacts you or shows up where they’re barred from being, call 911. Police can arrest on the spot. Depending on the jurisdiction and circumstances, a violation is charged as a misdemeanor or a felony, with jail time and fines. Under federal law, stalking in violation of a protection order carries a mandatory minimum of one year in prison.3Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 2261A – Stalking
File a Police Report
A police report creates an official record that the behavior is happening. Even when police can’t make an immediate arrest, the report matters. It starts a paper trail inside law enforcement, and officers responding to future calls can see the history. Reports also carry weight when you later petition for a protection order or pursue criminal charges.
Bring everything you’ve documented: the log, saved messages, screenshots, voicemails, and witness contact information. Be specific about dates, times, and what was said or done. Officers will assess whether the conduct violates any criminal laws and decide whether to warn the person, open an investigation, or arrest. Even if the initial response feels underwhelming, the report is on record and can be referenced later.
If you’re worried about the person learning your home address through public records tied to the report, ask the department about victim information protections. Many agencies can withhold or limit disclosure of a victim’s personal details, particularly in harassment and stalking cases.
No-Contact Orders Attached to Criminal Cases
If someone is arrested or charged with a crime against you, the court can impose a no-contact order as a condition of bail or release. This differs from a protection order in one important way: you don’t initiate it. The judge or prosecutor imposes it as part of the criminal case, and the defendant must comply while the case is open, sometimes through probation or parole after sentencing.
Because you aren’t a party to the criminal case, you can’t modify or lift the no-contact order yourself. Only the court or the prosecution can. That can be frustrating in domestic situations where reconciliation is on the table, but it also means the person can’t pressure you into dropping the protection.
Federal Stalking and Cyberstalking Law
Federal law makes it a crime to stalk someone across state lines or through electronic communications. Under 18 U.S.C. ยง 2261A, it’s illegal to use the mail, the internet, or any electronic communication system to engage in conduct that places someone in reasonable fear of death or serious bodily harm, or that causes substantial emotional distress. The same statute covers in-person stalking when the person travels interstate or is present within federal jurisdictions.3Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 2261A – Stalking
Penalties scale with the harm caused, from up to 5 years for a base offense with no physical injury, up to 10 years when there’s serious bodily injury or a dangerous weapon involved, up to 20 years for permanent disfigurement or life-threatening injury, and up to life if the victim dies. A violation that also breaches a protection order carries the one-year mandatory minimum.
This statute is particularly useful for cyberstalking, which usually crosses state lines by default. Harassment through social media, email, or messaging apps can fall under federal jurisdiction even when the person lives in your same city. Every state also has its own stalking and harassment laws, many of them written to cover online conduct specifically.
Sue in Civil Court When Harm Is Measurable
When the harassment has caused real harm, financial or emotional, you can sue the person for compensation. This is a separate track from criminal charges and protection orders. Common claims include intentional infliction of emotional distress, invasion of privacy, and defamation. You don’t have to prove a crime, only that the conduct caused harm.
The standard of proof works in your favor. Civil claims use a “preponderance of the evidence” standard rather than “beyond a reasonable doubt,” meaning you only need to show it’s more likely than not that the person’s conduct caused your harm.4Cornell Law Institute. Burden of Proof In practical terms, you tip the scale just past 50%.5Cornell Law School. Preponderance of the Evidence
You file a complaint describing what happened and what you’re asking for. Remedies include monetary damages for therapy costs, lost wages, and emotional suffering, along with a court injunction ordering the behavior to stop. Civil litigation is slower and more expensive than a protection order, so most people take this route only after significant measurable harm and when they want financial compensation on top of contact restrictions.
Hide Your Address Through a State Program
If you’re worried the person will find you through public records, roughly 45 states run address confidentiality programs. Once enrolled, a substitute mailing address replaces your real one on government records, voter registration, and other public documents. The program forwards your mail without revealing your location.
Eligibility requirements vary but generally require that you’re a victim of domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking, or human trafficking, and that you’ve relocated or are relocating to an address the person doesn’t know. Enrollment usually goes through a victim advocate and lasts several years before renewal. Where it’s available, it’s one of the strongest ways to keep your physical location hidden from someone who has already shown they won’t respect boundaries.