To get someone to stop harassing you, build a documented record of every incident, tell them in writing to stop, and if the contact continues, ask a court for a protective order and report criminal conduct to the police. Each step strengthens the next, and courts and prosecutors take the situation more seriously when you can show a clear pattern and a prior demand to stop.
Handle Your Immediate Safety First
Call 911 if you feel you are in immediate danger. Beyond that, a few practical moves reduce your risk while the legal process gets started.
Tell people you trust what is happening. A friend, family member, or coworker who knows the situation can respond faster in a crisis and later serve as a witness. Set up a code word with one or two close contacts that signals you need help right away. Keep your phone charged and emergency numbers easy to reach.
Vary your routine. Take different routes, change the times you leave and arrive, and stop posting your location on social media. If the person knows where you live, consider changing your locks, adding motion-sensor lighting, and keeping doors locked even when you are home. None of this is paranoia. It buys you time and cuts down on chances for unwanted contact while the case moves.
Document Every Incident
Every legal option you have, from a protective order to a criminal prosecution, depends on the quality of your documentation. Start a chronological log. Record the date, time, and specific details of each incident, what was said, what was done, and how it affected you. That log is the backbone of any court petition or police report.
Save the digital evidence too: text messages, emails, voicemails, social media messages, comment threads. Screenshots matter, and they are stronger when paired with the original files. When you screenshot, make sure the date, time, sender information, and full message are visible. For emails, save the full header rather than forwarding the message, because forwarding can strip out the metadata that shows the sender’s IP address.
Keep a separate log for digital incidents that notes the platform, the type of communication, and what was said. Back everything up in at least two places, such as a cloud drive and a USB drive. Evidence that disappears because the harasser deletes posts or because your phone breaks can wreck an otherwise strong case.
Send a Cease and Desist Letter
A cease and desist letter is not a court order, and it has no legal force by itself. What it does is create an official record that you told the person to stop. That record matters later because it takes away the harasser’s ability to claim they did not know the contact was unwanted, an argument that comes up constantly in court.
Keep the letter direct. Identify the specific behavior, demand that it stop, and say you will pursue legal action if it continues. Send it certified mail with a return receipt requested. The green return receipt card, signed by the recipient, proves they got it. Certified mail with a hard-copy return receipt through USPS runs roughly $10 to $11, making this one of the cheapest formal steps available.
A cease and desist letter is not required before filing for a protective order in most places, but it strengthens your case. If the harassment continues after the letter, every later incident carries extra weight because the person was clearly on notice. Some situations end here. When they do not, you have laid the groundwork for what comes next.
File for a Protective Order
A civil protective order, sometimes called a restraining order or an order of protection depending on your state, is a court directive that legally prohibits the harasser from contacting or approaching you. Most courts provide the petition forms at the clerk’s office or on the court’s website. The forms ask you to describe the specific incidents, identify the person you want restrained by their full legal name and address, and explain why you need protection.
Fill the forms out with as much specificity as your log allows. Use exact dates, times, locations, and the harasser’s specific words or actions. Vague descriptions like “they kept bothering me” are far less persuasive than something like “on March 12, 2026, at approximately 8:15 PM, [name] sent 14 text messages in 30 minutes threatening to show up at my workplace.” Courts also ask about any earlier police reports or court orders involving the other party, so have those case numbers ready.
The Temporary Order
Most courts allow an ex parte hearing, where a judge reviews your petition without the harasser present. If the judge finds a credible threat or a persistent pattern of harassment, they issue a temporary order on the spot. That order provides immediate protection and typically lasts until the full hearing, which is usually scheduled within 10 to 21 days depending on the jurisdiction.
Filing fees vary widely by court, but many jurisdictions waive the fee entirely when the petitioner is a victim of domestic violence, stalking, or sexual assault. Once the temporary order is signed, the harasser must be formally served with the papers, usually by a sheriff’s deputy or a professional process server, to satisfy due process. Law enforcement often serves protective orders at no charge when the case involves threats of violence.
The Full Hearing and Final Order
At the full hearing, both sides present evidence and the judge decides whether to issue a longer-term order. Bring your full file: the incident log, screenshots, the cease and desist letter with its return receipt, and any police reports. Witnesses who observed the harassment or its effects on you can testify. If the judge grants a final order, its length depends on your state. Some run one to two years, others extend to five years, and some can be indefinite in cases involving stalking or sexual assault. Most jurisdictions let you petition for renewal before the order expires if the threat remains.
A valid protective order issued in one state must be recognized and enforced in every other state, tribal territory, and U.S. territory. You do not need to register it in another jurisdiction for it to be enforceable there. Law enforcement is required to treat it as if a local court issued it.1Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 U.S.C. 2265 – Full Faith and Credit Given to Protection Orders
Report Criminal Conduct to Police
When the harassment rises to stalking, threats of violence, or other criminal behavior, file a police report. Bring your organized documentation so the officer can draft a thorough report. Get the incident or case number. That is your tracking tool for following up with detectives or the district attorney’s office.
Federal law makes it a crime to use the mail, the internet, or any electronic communication system to stalk someone with the intent to harass, intimidate, or cause substantial emotional distress. The same law covers physically traveling across state lines to stalk someone.2Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 U.S.C. 2261A – Stalking Penalties scale with the harm: up to five years in prison for the baseline offense, up to ten years if serious bodily injury results, up to twenty years for life-threatening injury, and life imprisonment if the victim dies. If the stalking violates an existing protective order, there is a mandatory minimum of one year in prison.3Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 U.S.C. 2261 – Interstate Domestic Violence
State criminal codes independently prohibit harassment and stalking, with penalties ranging from misdemeanors to multi-year felonies depending on severity and the offender’s history. Prosecutors use your evidence to build the case, and the standard of proof is beyond a reasonable doubt. Stay in contact with the prosecutor’s office for updates on charges, plea negotiations, or trial dates. Victims who stay engaged tend to see stronger outcomes than those who file and disappear.
Deal With Online Harassment
Digital harassment carries the same legal weight as in-person harassment, and it needs the same documentation. Beyond your log and screenshots, report the harassing content directly to each platform where it appears. Every major social media service has a reporting mechanism for harassment that violates its terms of service, and most will remove content or suspend accounts that cross the line.4StopBullying.gov. Report Cyberbullying Keep confirmation emails and note the dates of your reports. A platform’s failure to act can become relevant later.
Tighten your own security. Change your passwords, turn on two-factor authentication, review privacy settings, and consider whether someone might be monitoring your computer or phone. If you suspect device monitoring, switch to a different device, like a friend’s computer or a library terminal, for sensitive tasks such as contacting attorneys or filing police reports. Clearing browser cache and history on shared devices is a basic step that is easy to forget.
Online harassment that crosses state lines or uses interstate electronic communications falls squarely under the federal stalking statute, which carries the prison sentences described above.2Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 U.S.C. 2261A – Stalking The harasser does not need to physically travel anywhere. Using an internet-connected device to stalk someone is enough to trigger federal jurisdiction.
Workplace Harassment Uses a Different Track
If the person harassing you is a coworker, supervisor, or someone at your job and the conduct is tied to a protected characteristic like race, sex, religion, national origin, age, disability, or genetic information, the civil protective order route is not your first stop. Federal law requires you to file a charge of discrimination with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission before you can sue. The deadline is 180 calendar days from the last incident, extended to 300 days if your state has its own anti-discrimination agency. Federal employees have only 45 days to contact an agency EEO counselor.5U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Time Limits for Filing a Charge If a coworker’s conduct also amounts to stalking or threats, nothing in the EEOC process stops you from also seeking a protective order or filing a police report.
Sue for Damages When the Harm Is Severe
Beyond protective orders and criminal charges, you may be able to sue the harasser directly for money. The most common civil claim is intentional infliction of emotional distress, which requires showing that the conduct was extreme and outrageous, not just rude or annoying, and that it caused severe emotional harm. Courts describe the threshold as behavior that would make an average person exclaim “outrageous” upon hearing the facts. Ordinary insults and petty conflicts do not meet it.
This is a hard claim to win, and some courts require the emotional distress to be medically documented. When the harassment is severe enough, such as sustained campaigns of threats, public humiliation, or sexual harassment, damages can cover therapy costs, lost wages, and the suffering itself. Punitive damages may also be available if the conduct was particularly malicious. An attorney who handles personal injury or civil harassment cases can tell you whether your facts clear the bar.
Enforce the Order if It Gets Violated
A protective order is only as useful as its enforcement. If the harasser violates it, call 911 and report the violation. Document it the same way you documented the original harassment: date, time, what happened, and any evidence. Police can arrest the person on the spot for violating a court order.
Violations can result in criminal contempt charges, which carry fines and jail time. If the violation involves interstate travel or interstate communications, federal law provides penalties of up to five years in prison, and longer if the violation causes physical injury.6Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 U.S.C. 2262 – Interstate Violation of Protection Order Federal stalking committed in violation of an existing protective order carries a mandatory minimum of one year.3Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 U.S.C. 2261 – Interstate Domestic Violence
Keep a certified copy of your order on you at all times, both as a photo on your phone and as a physical copy. If you need to call police in another city or state, having the order immediately in hand speeds up enforcement. Officers in any state are required to enforce it without local registration.1Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 U.S.C. 2265 – Full Faith and Credit Given to Protection Orders If the expiration date is approaching and you still feel unsafe, file to renew before it lapses. Courts evaluate renewals based on factors like whether any violations happened, the nature of the parties’ relationship, and whether your safety concerns remain reasonable.