The most reliable way to legally tell someone to stop contacting you is to send a dated written demand, keep proof it was delivered, and then escalate through a cease and desist letter, a protective order, or a police report if the contact does not stop. That first written notice is what makes every later remedy possible, because judges, officers, and prosecutors all look for a documented moment when you clearly asked for the contact to end.
Start With a Written No-Contact Letter
A verbal “leave me alone” is your word against theirs. A written request is evidence with a date on it.
Keep the letter short. State your name, describe the unwanted contact (dates, types of messages, how often), and say plainly that you want all communication to stop. You do not need to explain why. Close by noting that continued contact after this notice may be treated as harassment. One page is enough.
Send it by certified mail with return receipt requested, so you get a signed card proving delivery. If the person contacts you only by email or text, sending the demand through that same channel also works, since those platforms generate timestamps and delivery records. Save copies of everything, including the delivery confirmation. This packet is the foundation of every option that follows.
Send a Cease and Desist Letter
If your personal request is ignored, a cease and desist letter raises the stakes. It is a formal document, usually on attorney letterhead, that names the specific behavior, identifies the laws it may violate, and warns that legal action will follow if the behavior continues. The letter itself does not carry the force of a court order, but it signals that you have consulted a lawyer and are prepared to act.
A cease and desist letter for personal harassment should identify the recipient by name, describe the pattern with specific dates and examples, note that you previously demanded no contact, reference the applicable harassment or stalking laws in your jurisdiction, set a deadline for compliance (typically 10 to 14 days), and warn of the consequences, including a protective order or criminal complaint. Having an attorney draft or send the letter adds weight. People who shrug off a handwritten note tend to take letterhead more seriously.
The letter also serves a strategic purpose. If you later petition for a protective order or file a police report, it shows the court or officer that you escalated gradually and gave fair warning. Judges look favorably on petitioners who tried less drastic measures first.
Petition for a Protective Order
When letters fail, a protective order (often called a restraining order) is the tool with real enforcement power. It is a court order that legally prohibits someone from contacting you, and violating it is a criminal offense.
File a petition at your local courthouse. You will need to show a pattern of harassment, stalking, or threats, supported by evidence: screenshots of messages, call logs, a copy of your written no-contact request, witness statements, or police reports. Most jurisdictions apply a “preponderance of the evidence” standard, meaning you need to show it is more likely than not that the harassment occurred.
If the situation is urgent, a judge can issue a temporary protective order based on your petition alone, sometimes the same day you file. That temporary order holds until a full hearing, usually within a few weeks, where both sides present evidence. A longer-term order granted at that hearing can last from several months to several years depending on the circumstances and jurisdiction.
Protective orders can be tailored to your situation. The court might prohibit all forms of contact, require a minimum distance from your home or workplace, or address custody and living arrangements in domestic cases. Many jurisdictions offer specialized orders for domestic violence victims that include temporary custody and exclusive use of a shared residence. Filing fees vary widely; many states waive them entirely, especially in domestic violence cases.
The point of a protective order is enforcement. Violating one is a criminal offense in every state, and most treat a first violation as a misdemeanor punishable by fines and jail time. Repeat violations or those involving threats of violence often carry felony charges.
If the Contact Is Coming From a Business
Federal law gives you separate, enforceable rights against unwanted commercial contact. These rules apply to companies, not individuals, so they are the wrong tool if a person is harassing you but the right tool if a collector or marketer will not stop.
Debt Collectors
The Fair Debt Collection Practices Act lets you shut down a debt collector with a single written notice. Once the collector receives your written request to stop, they must cease all communication about the debt, with only narrow exceptions: they can send one final notice confirming they are ending collection efforts, and they can notify you if they intend to take a specific legal action such as filing a lawsuit.1Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 15 U.S. Code 1692c – Communication in Connection with Debt Collection
This right applies only to third-party debt collectors, not the original company you owe. Cutting off communication does not erase the debt, and the collector can still sue you for the balance. But the calls, letters, and texts must stop. A collector who ignores your written notice faces liability for actual damages plus up to $1,000 in additional statutory damages per action, and you can recover attorney fees if you win.2Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 15 U.S. Code 1692k – Civil Liability
Spam Email
Commercial email senders must honor an opt-out request within 10 business days under the CAN-SPAM Act. The business cannot charge a fee to unsubscribe, cannot require personal information beyond your email address, and cannot make you do anything more than click a single link or send a reply. After you opt out, the company is also prohibited from selling or transferring your email address to other marketers.3Federal Trade Commission. CAN-SPAM Act: A Compliance Guide for Business
Telemarketers
The National Do Not Call Registry blocks most telemarketing calls at no cost. Register your home or mobile number at donotcall.gov. Once your number has been on the registry for 31 days, telemarketers who call you are violating federal rules, and you can report them to the FTC.4USAGov. National Do Not Call Registry The registry does not stop calls from charities, political organizations, debt collectors, or survey companies, but it covers most commercial sales calls.
When Harassment Happens Online or Across State Lines
When contact crosses state lines or happens over the internet, federal law also applies. Under 18 U.S.C. ยง 2261A, it is a federal crime to use email, social media, or any electronic communication service to engage in a course of conduct intended to harass or intimidate someone, if that conduct causes reasonable fear of serious harm or substantial emotional distress. The statute also covers someone physically traveling across state lines with intent to harass.5Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 USC 2261A – Stalking
Federal stalking is punishable by up to five years in prison in a standard case, with longer sentences when serious injury results. Stalking in violation of an existing protective order carries a mandatory minimum of one year.6Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 18 U.S. Code 2261A – Stalking These cases are investigated by the FBI and prosecuted by the U.S. Attorney’s office, so they carry a different weight than a local complaint.
If the Unwanted Contact Is at Work
Workplace harassment follows a different track. Telling the coworker or supervisor to stop is still the right first step, but reporting the behavior to your employer triggers legal obligations on their end.
Once you report the harassment internally, the company becomes legally responsible if it fails to take immediate corrective action. This applies whether the harassment is based on sex, race, religion, national origin, or another protected characteristic. Management does not need to have witnessed the behavior directly. If they knew or should have known and did nothing, the company faces liability.7U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. CM-615 Harassment
If your employer ignores the problem or retaliates against you for reporting it, file a charge with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. The deadline is 180 days from the discriminatory act, extended to 300 days if your state has its own anti-discrimination law covering the same conduct.8U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. How to File a Charge of Employment Discrimination You can start through the EEOC’s online portal, and an EEOC staff member will interview you before a formal charge is prepared. Miss the deadline and you lose the right to file, so mark the date the day the harassment happens.
Filing a Police Report
You can file a police report at any point. You do not need a protective order or an attorney to involve law enforcement. If someone’s behavior makes you feel unsafe, report it.
Before going to the station, organize your evidence. Print or screenshot every message, email, voicemail transcript, and social media interaction. Build a simple timeline with dates, times, and what happened. Bring the original no-contact letter and any proof of delivery. Police handle a high volume of reports, and a clear documented case stands out.
File the report with the local law enforcement agency where the harassment occurred.9USAGov. Report a Crime Depending on the severity, police may issue a warning, open an investigation, or refer the case to a prosecutor. Even if the immediate response feels underwhelming, the report itself matters. It creates an official record that strengthens any later petition for a protective order and shows a continuing pattern if charges are eventually filed.
What Each Step Costs
The cheapest and most effective step costs almost nothing. Writing your own no-contact letter and sending it certified mail runs about $10 for postage and the return receipt. That letter is what unlocks every remedy above it.
Attorney fees for a cease and desist letter or a protective order petition vary widely by location and complexity. Hourly rates for attorneys handling these matters generally run from around $150 to $500 or more, and a straightforward cease and desist letter might take one to three hours of attorney time. Some legal aid organizations offer free assistance in harassment and domestic violence cases, so check local options before assuming you have to pay.
Court filing fees for protective orders range from nothing to a few hundred dollars depending on the jurisdiction. Many states waive all fees for domestic violence protective orders, and most courts have a fee-waiver application for people who cannot afford the cost. If the order is granted and the respondent has to be formally served, process server fees typically run $40 to $100 for standard service.
For FDCPA violations by a debt collector, the law lets you recover attorney fees if you win, which makes contingency representation realistic when the evidence is clear.2Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 15 U.S. Code 1692k – Civil Liability Filing an EEOC charge costs nothing.
What Happens If They Keep Contacting You
The consequences escalate at each stage, and this is where the paper trail you built pays off.
Ignoring a personal written request or a cease and desist letter is not itself a crime, but it is evidence of intent. When someone keeps contacting you after a clear written demand, it becomes much harder for them to claim the contact was innocent or that they did not realize it was unwanted. That evidence of willful persistence is exactly what prosecutors and judges look for when deciding whether behavior crosses into criminal harassment or stalking.
Violating a protective order is a criminal offense in every state. Most jurisdictions charge a first violation as a misdemeanor with potential jail time and fines. Later violations or ones involving threats often become felonies. At the federal level, stalking someone in violation of a protective order carries a mandatory minimum of one year in federal prison.
Civil liability runs alongside the criminal side. A person subjected to persistent, extreme harassment can bring a civil lawsuit for intentional infliction of emotional distress, which can produce compensatory damages for therapy costs, lost wages, and suffering, plus punitive damages meant to punish the conduct.