To request mediation, send a written request that fits the situation you’re in: a letter to the other party for voluntary mediation, a letter citing the contract clause if one applies, or a motion filed with the court if a lawsuit is already underway. Whatever form it takes, the request should identify the parties, summarize the dispute in neutral terms, propose a mediator, and set a deadline for a response or comply with the court’s motion rules.
Figure Out Which Type of Request You Need
Before you write anything, place your dispute in one of three categories. The format, the recipient, and the leverage behind the request all change depending on which one applies.
Voluntary Mediation
No lawsuit has been filed and no contract requires mediation. Either party can propose it, but both have to agree. Nobody can be forced into voluntary mediation. This is the common path for neighbor disputes, business disagreements, and family conflicts that haven’t reached the courthouse. The request goes directly to the other party or their attorney.
Contractual Mediation
Employment agreements, construction contracts, franchise agreements, and consumer service contracts often contain a clause requiring the parties to mediate before filing suit. If your dispute falls under a contract like this, you generally have to request mediation and participate before you can go to court. Skip the step and the other side can ask a judge to dismiss the case without prejudice or pause it until mediation is completed. Courts have consistently enforced these clauses.
Court-Connected Mediation
If a lawsuit is already underway, you can ask the judge to send the case to mediation. Federal law requires every district court to offer at least one form of alternative dispute resolution, and many courts can require parties to mediate certain civil cases.1Office of the Law Revision Counsel. United States Code Title 28 – 652 Jurisdiction The usual filing is a “Motion for Referral to Mediation” or simply a “Motion for Mediation.” A separate motion, the “Motion to Compel Mediation,” is what you file when the other side is ignoring a contractual mediation requirement. The terminology matters because one asks the judge to use discretion and the other asks the judge to enforce a contract.
What to Put in a Voluntary Request Letter
For voluntary mediation, the formal request is a letter or email sent to the other party or their attorney. Keep it professional and neutral. Save the arguments for the mediation table. A solid request includes:
- A clear statement of purpose. Open by stating that you’re requesting mediation to resolve the dispute.
- A brief factual summary. Describe what happened, when, and what you believe needs to be resolved. Skip accusatory or emotional language.
- A proposed mediator or selection method. Name a candidate, offer two or three options, or suggest that each side propose names and agree on one.
- Proposed logistics. A general timeframe, and if it matters, a preferred format (in-person or video) or location.
- A response deadline. Fourteen to twenty-one days is typical. This keeps the process from stalling.
If you’re invoking a contractual mediation clause, reference the specific contract provision and attach the relevant page. That frames the request not as a suggestion but as a step both parties already agreed to take. Check the clause for anything it requires: a particular provider, a location, or a deadline for initiating mediation.
What to Put in a Court Motion
When a lawsuit is already filed and you want the judge to order mediation, you file a formal motion. The usual title is “Motion for Referral to Mediation,” though exact wording varies by court. Check your local rules of procedure for the required format.
A typical motion includes:
- The case caption, with the court name, case name, and case number.
- A statement explaining why mediation would be productive in this particular dispute.
- A proposed order for the judge to sign.
Some courts publish template forms through the clerk’s office or the court website. If your court runs a mandatory mediation program, you may not need a motion at all: the referral can happen automatically at a set stage of the case.
After filing, you must serve a copy on every other party to the lawsuit. Service means delivering the document through a legally recognized method, typically mail, hand delivery, or electronic service through the court’s filing system. The other side needs official notice and an opportunity to respond before the judge rules.
Information and Documents to Gather First
No matter which path you’re on, collect this information before you start drafting.
- Contact information for every party. Full legal names, current mailing addresses, phone numbers, and email addresses. If anyone has a lawyer, get the attorney’s contact information; once counsel is involved, communication runs through them.
- A neutral summary of the dispute. Facts, dates, and what needs resolving, written without accusation. This goes directly into your letter or motion.
- Case details, if a lawsuit exists. Court name, case caption, and case number.
- Contract language, if a mediation clause applies. The exact text of the mediation provision.
You’ll also want supporting documents ready for the session itself: contracts, correspondence, invoices, photographs, or anything else that helps the mediator understand the dispute. Many mediators ask each side to submit a short written position statement a week or two before the session. That’s not part of the formal request, but preparing it early saves scrambling later.
How to Choose and Propose a Mediator
Both parties have to agree on a mediator, so proposing candidates thoughtfully improves your odds of a quick yes. Look through state or local bar association mediator directories, court-approved rosters, or established private mediation organizations. If your contract names a specific provider, start there.
Court-connected programs typically maintain rosters of mediators who meet minimum training requirements, often 24 to 40 hours of specialized training depending on the jurisdiction. These programs are often significantly cheaper than private mediators, and some offer sliding-scale or free sessions for lower-income parties. If cost is a factor, ask the court clerk whether a subsidized program is available for your case type.
In your request, either name a specific mediator with their contact information or propose two or three candidates and let the other party choose. Offering choices signals good faith and reduces the chance of a reflexive objection.
How to Send the Request
For a voluntary request to the other party, use a delivery method that creates a record. Certified mail with return receipt is standard; it gives you proof of both mailing and delivery. Email with read-receipt tracking is fine as a supplement, but certified mail carries more weight if the other side later claims they never got it.
For court filings, most courts accept documents through an electronic filing portal. If you’re representing yourself and aren’t registered for e-filing, courts generally accept paper filings delivered to the clerk in person or by mail. Some jurisdictions are moving toward mandatory e-filing even for self-represented parties, so check your local rules.
Don’t Let Filing Deadlines Expire While You Mediate
Requesting mediation does not automatically pause the statute of limitations on your underlying claim. Spend months in voluntary mediation while the filing deadline runs out and you may lose the right to sue at all. Some states toll the deadline during mediation, but most do not, and the rules vary enough that you cannot assume protection exists.
If your deadline is close, consider asking the other side to sign a tolling agreement, a short written contract in which both parties agree not to raise a statute-of-limitations defense for a defined period. Court-ordered mediation carries less risk here because the lawsuit is already filed, but voluntary and contractual mediation demand attention to timing.
What to Expect After You Send the Request
For a voluntary request, the other party will agree, decline, counter-propose, or ignore you. If they agree, move straight to confirming the mediator and scheduling. If they decline or don’t respond, and no contract requires mediation, you cannot force them to the table; mediation is consensual. Your remaining option may be to file suit. If a contract requires mediation and the other side refuses, you can file a motion asking the court to enforce the clause.
For a court motion, the other party typically has 14 to 21 days under local rules to file a written response. The judge then rules. If the motion is granted, the court issues an order setting a deadline to complete mediation and either naming a mediator or directing the parties to select one within a set number of days.
One thing worth knowing before mediation begins: once a court orders it, showing up isn’t enough. Many courts require good-faith participation, and judges have sanctioned parties for sending someone without settlement authority, arriving unprepared, or not appearing at all. Sanctions can include paying the other side’s mediation costs and attorney fees, and in some cases having claims dismissed. Treat a court-ordered mediation as a real obligation.
If domestic violence is a factor, many courts allow a party to request an exemption from mandatory mediation where the history would compromise the process or create a safety risk. Raise it with the court before mediation is scheduled.