If you want to marry your partner without a judge, minister, or any other officiant, three jurisdictions make it straightforward: Colorado, Pennsylvania, and the District of Columbia. A handful of other states where you can officiate your own wedding allow it only when the ceremony follows the customs of a qualifying religious group. Everywhere else, a marriage needs a third-party officiant to be legally valid.
Self-solemnization (sometimes called a “self-uniting marriage”) means the couple exchanges vows and signs the marriage license themselves, with no officiant signing on that line at all. That’s a different thing from having a friend get ordained online to run the ceremony. Picking the wrong state, or the wrong license within the right state, can leave you not actually married.
States Any Couple Can Use
Colorado
Colorado’s solemnization statute lists the parties to the marriage themselves among the people authorized to solemnize it. No officiant, no witnesses, no waiting period. You get a license from any Colorado county clerk, sign it, and return it for recording. That combination is why Colorado is the most popular destination for couples traveling to self-solemnize.
District of Columbia
DC permits what it calls a “self-officiating ceremony.” Under DC Code § 46-406, as amended by the Marriage Officiant Amendment Act of 2013, “the parties to the marriage” are among the persons authorized to solemnize the union. Couples apply in person at the DC Courts Marriage Bureau with valid government-issued identification.1DC Courts. DC Courts Marriage Matters
Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania issues a “self-uniting marriage license” that requires no officiant. The license has Quaker historical roots but is available to any couple regardless of religious affiliation. Two differences from Colorado and DC matter in planning. Pennsylvania requires two witnesses to sign the license along with the couple.2Erie County, PA Government. Marriage Licenses – Erie County And you have to specifically ask for the self-uniting version at the clerk’s office, because it’s a different form than the standard marriage license.3Elk County Government. Applying for a Marriage License A standard license with an officiant signature line is the wrong form.
States That Allow It Only for Religious Groups
Several states let couples marry without a traditional officiant, but only when the ceremony follows the customs of a qualifying religious society. These provisions trace back to Quaker wedding traditions, in which no clergy member presides.
Wisconsin
Wisconsin statute § 765.16(1m)(c) authorizes “the 2 parties themselves, by mutual declarations that they take each other as husband and wife, in accordance with the customs, rules and regulations of any religious society, denomination or sect to which either of the parties may belong.” At least one partner must belong to a qualifying religious group, and two adult witnesses are required.4Wisconsin State Legislature. Wisconsin Statutes Chapter 765
Kansas
Kansas validates marriages solemnized among the Society of Friends (Quakers) “in the form previously practiced and in use in their meetings.” The statute also references Bahá’í assemblies. Couples outside these religious communities cannot use the Kansas provision to self-solemnize.5Kansas Legislature. Kansas Statutes 23-2516
Illinois
Illinois allows marriages solemnized “in accordance with the prescriptions of any religious denomination, Indian Nation or Tribe or Native Group.” The statute contemplates situations where “no individual acting alone solemnized the marriage,” in which case both parties complete and submit the marriage certificate. In effect, this permits self-solemnization for couples whose religious or tribal traditions don’t involve a single presiding officiant.6Illinois General Assembly. 750 ILCS 5 Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act
Maine
Maine’s marriage statute (Title 19-A, § 655) includes a religious exemption that allows marriages without a standard officiant for qualifying religious groups. Confirm with the local town clerk which groups qualify and what documentation they want before the ceremony.
Special Cases and Common Misunderstandings
California’s Non-Clergy License
California gets listed as a self-solemnization state, but the reality is messier. The state offers a “License and Certificate of Marriage for Denominations Not Having Clergy,” meant for religious groups without ordained clergy. California Family Code § 420(a) requires the marriage officiant to be physically present at the ceremony, and the standard license requires at least one witness.7CDPH – CA.gov. California Marriage License Registration and Ceremony Information Whether a couple using the non-clergy license can truly marry without any officiant depends on how the county interprets it. Call the clerk’s office where you plan to apply and ask specifically.
Montana’s Declaration of Marriage
Montana allows a “Declaration of Marriage without Solemnization” under MCA § 40-1-311, which says “persons may consummate a marriage by written declaration in this state without the solemnization provided for in 40-1-301.” The declaration must be subscribed by both parties, attested by at least two witnesses, and formally acknowledged before the clerk of the district court.8Montana State Legislature. Montana Code Annotated 40-1-311 Montana courts describe this process as primarily used by couples already in a common-law marriage who want an official record.9Courts of Montana. Marriage – Common Law Marriage – Getting Married Couples starting fresh should confirm with the district court clerk that the office will accept the declaration for a new marriage.
Nevada Is Not on the List
Nevada sometimes appears on self-solemnization roundups, but its statute (NRS § 122.110) requires the parties to make their declarations “in the presence of” an authorized officiant. Nevada does not allow a true self-solemnized marriage with no officiant involved.10Nevada Legislature. Nevada Revised Statutes 122-110
How to Officiate Your Own Wedding
The steps are simple. The details vary, and missing one can delay or invalidate your marriage.
- Get the license in person. Both parties must appear at the county clerk’s or marriage bureau office with valid government-issued photo ID. Some offices also ask for Social Security numbers. Fees run roughly $15 to $115, with most between $30 and $90. A few states discount the fee for couples who complete a premarital education course.
- Ask about a waiting period. Most states have none, but a few delay the ceremony up to six days after the license is issued.
- Request the right license type. In Pennsylvania, that means the self-uniting license. In California, the non-clergy version. A standard license with an officiant signature line is the wrong form.
- Perform the ceremony. Exchange vows, make your mutual declarations, and sign the license. Where witnesses are required (Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Montana each require two), make sure they’re there and sign.
- Return the license on time. After signing, the completed license has to go back to the issuing authority within a set window. California and Illinois both set 10 days. This is where self-solemnizing couples most often slip up, because there’s no officiant whose job it is to file the paperwork. The responsibility is yours.6Illinois General Assembly. 750 ILCS 5 Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act
- Watch the license expiration. Marriage licenses don’t sit on the shelf forever. California’s expires after 90 days. If yours expires before the ceremony, you’ll have to buy a new one.11CDPH – CA.gov. California Marriage License General Information
Will Other States Recognize the Marriage?
Generally, yes. The place-of-celebration rule means that a marriage valid under the laws of the state where it was performed is recognized elsewhere. The IRS has applied this rule for federal tax purposes for over half a century, recognizing marriages based on the law of the state where they took place regardless of where the couple later lives.12Internal Revenue Service. Revenue Ruling 2013-17 Federal immigration authorities follow the same approach.13U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS). Marriage and Marital Union for Naturalization
So a couple who legally self-solemnizes in Colorado can move to a state that requires an officiant, and the marriage should still be recognized. The rule doesn’t guarantee recognition in every conceivable context, because states keep some discretion, but for federal benefits, taxes, and most state-level purposes, a validly performed marriage travels with you.
If Your State Doesn’t Allow It
Most states require an authorized officiant: a judge, magistrate, member of the clergy, and in some places a justice of the peace or county clerk. Signing a standard marriage license without an officiant’s signature and submitting it won’t create a valid marriage. Some states will save a marriage performed in good faith if the officiant lacked proper authority. Others treat the marriage as void from the start, which can surface years later in property, insurance, or inheritance disputes.
The common workaround is to travel to a state that permits self-solemnization and file the license there. Colorado is the usual choice because it requires no witnesses and no waiting period. Under the place-of-celebration rule, your home state should recognize the marriage. The other option is to have a trusted person become ordained through an online ministry, though the legal standing of online ordination varies by state and county. Check with the clerk’s office in the county where you plan to marry before relying on it.