When a non-custodial parent won’t give you their address, you are not stuck. Family courts in every state generally require both parents to disclose where they live as part of any custody proceeding, and you can ask the court to compel that disclosure, use a federal database to locate a parent who has gone off the grid, and treat the refusal itself as evidence in contempt or modification proceedings. The one situation where a parent is legally allowed to withhold an address is when a judge has sealed it for documented safety reasons.
The Baseline Rule: Both Parents Have to Disclose
The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act, adopted in all fifty states, requires every party in a custody proceeding to file a sworn statement with the court. Under Section 209, that statement must include the child’s present address, every place the child has lived during the past five years, and the names and addresses of anyone claiming custody or visitation rights.1U.S. Department of State. Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act Filing incomplete or false information can result in sanctions.
Most custody orders also carry a standing requirement that both parents keep each other and the court informed of any change in address. That obligation is not optional, and a parent who ignores it is violating the order. Courts need address information to determine jurisdiction, to handle school and visitation logistics, and to enforce support and custody obligations if either parent falls out of compliance.
When a Parent Is Legally Allowed to Withhold an Address
Before you assume the other parent is simply being obstructive, it is worth knowing the one route that lets a parent legally keep an address from you. Under UCCJEA Section 209(e), if a party swears that disclosing their address would jeopardize the health, safety, or liberty of themselves or the child, the court must seal that information.1U.S. Department of State. Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act Sealed information cannot be shared with the other party or the public unless the court holds a hearing and finds that disclosure is in the interest of justice. This provision was written to protect domestic violence survivors who need to participate in custody cases without revealing where they live.2Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. The Uniform Child-Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act
If the other parent has obtained a sealing order, the judge has already reviewed the safety claim and decided the address stays confidential. You will not get that reversed without new facts and a hearing. But absent a sealing order or an active protective order, a parent has no lawful basis to refuse. Withholding an address without a court-approved exception is noncompliance, and the court can act on it.
Finding a Parent Who Has Disappeared
Sometimes the problem is not a parent hiding behind a legal argument but a parent who has simply vanished. Federal law provides a tool built for exactly this situation.
The Federal Parent Locator Service, established under 42 U.S.C. § 653, is a database the federal government maintains to help locate noncustodial parents. It can provide a parent’s most recent address, Social Security number, and employer information by cross-referencing records from the IRS, the Social Security Administration, and state agencies. Access is available to courts, state child support agencies, and in some cases directly to custodial parents or their attorneys. It can be used both for child support enforcement and for enforcing custody or visitation orders.3Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 42 USC 653 – Federal Parent Locator Service
The usual path is to work through your state’s child support enforcement agency or to ask the court to request the information on your behalf. Responses generally come back within a few weeks of a properly submitted request. There is one built-in limit worth knowing: when a case involves domestic violence and a Family Violence Indicator has been placed on a parent’s record, the FPLS will not release that parent’s location information.
What the Court Can Do About the Refusal
If the other parent has no sealing order and is simply refusing to comply, you have several ways to bring the court’s authority to bear.
Motion to Compel and Contempt
The most direct step is asking the court to order disclosure, and if an order already exists, filing a motion for contempt when the other parent ignores it. Contempt findings can carry fines and, in extreme cases, jail time. The noncompliant parent has to appear and explain why they should not be penalized for violating the order.
Custody Consequences
The refusal itself often does more work in your case than the contempt penalty. Courts may interpret address withholding as evidence of parental alienation or a deliberate attempt to obstruct your relationship with the child. That perception can lead to reduced custody time for the withholding parent or a modification of the existing arrangement in your favor. A parent who has gone off the grid, refused to share an address, or repeatedly violated the schedule is giving a judge the kind of concrete evidence that supports modification.
Modification of the Order
If the noncompliance reflects a genuine change in circumstances, you can petition the court to modify custody outright. Courts are generally receptive when the evidence shows the current arrangement is no longer working. Persistent refusal to share an address, combined with any related violations, is exactly the kind of pattern that supports a modification request.
Mediation Before You Escalate
Not every address dispute needs a judge. Mediation gives both parents a chance to talk through their concerns with a neutral third party, and many jurisdictions require an attempt at mediation before scheduling a custody hearing. It tends to be most useful when the disagreement is about trust or logistics rather than safety. Parents can negotiate specific terms for how address information is shared, including how much notice is required before a move and whether a neutral third party holds the information. Judges work in broad strokes; mediators can help build arrangements fitted to a particular family.4Justia. Child Custody Mediation
A mediator cannot force a decision and cannot give legal advice, even if the mediator happens to be an attorney.4Justia. Child Custody Mediation Any agreement still needs court approval to be enforceable. Mediation is generally not appropriate where there is a history of domestic violence or a significant power imbalance, because the process depends on both parties being able to negotiate freely.
Keep Your Own Address on File
The disclosure obligation runs in both directions, and it is easy to overlook on your own side. If the court sends notices about hearings, modifications, or enforcement to an outdated address, you may not find out until a decision has been made without your input. Courts are not required to track you down. In most jurisdictions, updating your address means filing a notice of change of address with the court clerk and having another adult serve a copy on the other party or their attorney. There is typically no filing fee. Filing alone is not enough; the notice has to be properly served. Failing to notify the other parent of your new address can itself become a basis for enforcement action against you or a factor a judge weighs in future proceedings.